Fra: "evelyn laurence" Til: Emne: Re: [OFUM] OFUMers! Here is your chance to have work featured in OFUM! Dato: 17. april 2003 15:19 After a quick viewing of FOTR tonight, I checked my email and saw the call for badfic, and well, my housemates and I couldn’t resist. So I give you “As Middle Earth Turns”, a badfic amongst badfics. I was afraid my eyes were going to start bleeding while typing it. May the Valar forgive me for what I have done. Elrond wuz very sad- he wuz lonely, ‘cause his wife left him 4 Glorfindel, ‘cause he wuz soo cute. One day he saw Legolas in the woods, n fell in lurve with him ‘cause he wuz sooo hot. Leggie, I luv u! He said, and legolas wuz like, well, u r rich, so, I think I luv u 2! And they moved in together n were, like so happy for a while. Then one day Arwen came home. What R U doing here? said Elrond, where is Aragon? He wuz cheating on me, he wuz screwing Eowyn and Faramir and perving after the ringbearer. Which iz soooo stupid, ‘cause everyone knows that Frodo is only into hobbit orgies with his cousins and Sam. But I wuz mad, so I killed them all n came home, said Arwen. Poor baby, said Elrond, U are safe from them here. Humans suck. Where are the twins? Said Arwen. Oh they are in lothlorien. Elladan married Galadriel, cause Celeborn left her 4 Haldir, and Elhoir is dating that guy with the nice ass from Rohan. said Elrond. Oh, okay. Gandalf says hi, he is dating Saruman again, ‘cause their clothes match now. He broke up w/the eyeball. Said Arwen, then she went out back, and saw legolas. Wow, U R so hott! She said. I like your boobies said Legolas, Then they ran away and got married. Elrond wuz very mad. I hate you! He said. You stole my man, my spiffy purple dress, and my kewl headband! Then he fed Arwen to a balrog, and she died. Elrond wuz not going to feed Legolas to the balrog, cause he was still hott, but then he saw Thranduil and wanted him instead, ‘cause he was hotter. So he feed Legolas to the Balrog, and lived happily ever after with Thranduil, until he left him 4 Treebeard, who wuz single again ‘cause he accidentially squished Bilbo. Gimli was their cabana boy. The End. ~Evelyn .~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. Adoptive mommy of Halidr the tone-deaf mini-balrog, Luster of Haldir and Boromir, Proud Minion of Miss Cam, Creator of the Peter Jackson Voodoo Doll, Lab assistant to Middle Earth's Pharmacist of Corruption, Manager of Musical Corruption, aka Manager of Mini Zeppelin .~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. --------------------------------- Do you Yahoo!? The New Yahoo! Search - Faster. Easier. Bingo.