Chapter 5: “Worlds Meet” and Alec waxes homicidal

Disclaimer: I own Team Phoenix – that includes Davey – me, and Kitkat owns herself. I wish I could say that today’s victim is my fabrication, but sadly, no, it’s not. Now go away and leave me with my DDR and Anastasia CD (what I actually own) in peace! I’ve just taken my PSATs and need some PPCing to take my mind off that vhai’d pointless thing.

Note: Much of this is verbatim, meaning I did not change a single punctuation, spelling, grammar, or formatting error. This also means that this chapter is ridiculously long. Cheers!

On with the bloody death!

It had been seemingly a couple of hours since Toombs had finished training, and Kitty had determined that he had the makings of a Shaper. The rest of Team Phoenix was so happy for him that they had popped off into the Angelic Layer/Chobits continuum and gotten him an angel. Toombs had made a black-winged male angel, Tinu, meaning “small star” in Sindarin.

Alec was flawlessly executing every move in MAXX Unlimited, the hardest track on Dance Dance Revolution. “What are you doing?” He asked Sean, who had been tinkering with a cell phone under the console.

“I’m trying to get the console to make a sound other than beeping,” Sean said, not looking up. As soon as he finished saying that, the console lit up with a new assignment, but all Sean’s hard work had been for naught.

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]

“OW!” Sean screamed, clapping his hands to his ears.

By this time, Alec had meandered over to check out the assignment. His eyes went wide and he started choking on nothing. A sudden fire, magical in nature, blazed around him in rage, and Toombs could feel the heat waves even on the other side of the room. Boromir rushed over, avoiding the flames. “What’s the matter?” Alec just pointed at the screen.

“Oh Valar…what’s this?” Boromir scrolled up. “Hmm, ‘Worlds Meet’, a Star Trek Original Series fanfic by one ‘Captain of Truth’.”

“Not in canon they’re not,” Alec croaked. “This…this Suethor not only writes a blatant Mary Sue and mangles the English language, but makes…” He paused, trying to get his temper under control. Righteous anger won out, though, and he borrowed the Capslock of Rage to yell, “GOD DAMMIT, SHE MAKES KIRK, SPOCK, AND BONES DO A SPONTANEOUS ROCK MUSICAL NUMBER!”

All winced. “Ooh.”

“I’ll go down to Makes-Things and get us the Phoenix,” Kos said, running out. A short while later he returned with a Dragonball Z capsule. “We click this once we’re in, and there she is! Modified Danube-class runabout, much like the Anduin, I suppose.”

Boromir started cracking up. “Why, what’s so funny?” Spence asked.

“Nothing, just that Kitty has the Anduin. It was originally her ship. Now it’s standard issue PPC craft for Star Trek,” he noted.

“Tinu’s coming too,” Toombs said, the Angel resting on his shoulder. Although not even in a Layer, Tinu was fully active (even when Toombs wasn’t concentrating, which was Makes-Things’ little alteration, done after a little…persuasion on Alec’s part. The man could be singularly threatening when he had a mind to). The Angel stretched his black-feathered wings expectantly.

“All right, but this one…this one’s mine.” Alec said tightly. “Nobody does that to Star Trek. And I do mean nobody.” He plugged in their disguises and opened the portal. He jumped through before anyone could stop him.

They arrived in what appeared to be a (not very detailed, and as such, fuzzy) teenager’s room, and said dirty-blonde teenager was typing something up. Sean checked the clock. It was 2:23 a.m., and they were just in time to see three transporter beams materialize. All of a sudden, the Sue felt a presence (or two or three or eight). She slowly turned to see three men, one with “a very strong build, brownish-blondish hair, and a gold shirt with a logo she recognized on the chest”, the next, sporting “very tidy black hair, strong but skinny build, and a blue shirt with the same logo”, and the last “also wore a blue shirt, but he had dark brown hair, looked older, and had very pretty blue eyes”.

“The eyes!” Sean exclaimed (quietly), looking at the Words that constructed the world. “Remember? In the MST?”

Boromir chuckled at the thought of stealing someone’s heart with your eyes. The three Starfleet officers looked at the Sue as she just looked at them. Her jaw had dropped, but then slowly smiled at them. Before the one in the gold could say anything, the girl pointed at him and said "Captain James Tiberus-”

“Ti-ber-i-us,” Team Phoenix muttered as one. Alec made a note of it.

“Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701.”

“Chatterbox,” Toombs nudged Alec, who jotted it down.

with a very “tamed excited” look on her face, which just made her look weird. Her finger then drifted to point at the black headed and pointed ear man. "Commander Spock, second officer-”

“First officer,” Alec hissed, scribbling something in his charge padd.

“and science officer to the USS Enterprise NCC-1701.” she said with the same look in her dark green-hazel eyes. Then her finger drifted and pointed to the dark brown-headed man. "Lt. Commander Dr. Leonard Horatio “Bones” McCoy, Chief Medical Officer to the USS Enterprise NCC-1701.” with a more excited look upon seeing him.

“Ai Eru, a Bones luster?” Koster rolled his eyes. “I mean, Bones is cool, but…”

“If she was lusting Spock, we’d have LOTS more problems,” Alec sullenly pointed out. “Besides, we’re lucky that Kitty and Kitkat didn’t get this one; they’d kill her on sight.”

“Why?”

“Just wait until you see who she is lusting.”

The three officers just stared as she stared back and put her hand back down. Kirk then asked, “How do you know our names, ranks, positions, and starship?” with a questioning, but confused look in his eyes, known to people with a middle-schooler’s vocabulary as quizzical. Spock looked at the girl with his own look of interest. And Bones looked like he thought this was all a dream. The girl simply responded, “Well I know this ISN'T a dream because I haven't been near my bed. And the reason I know all this information is because I watch Star Trek.” she seemed to be very calm.

“Oh my God.” Toombs just hid his face in his hands. Tinu copied him.

Kirk looked back with another questioning look “Star Trek?” he asked. The girl simply nodded and launched into a quite condensed history of the series, also adding that it was the creation of one “Gene Roddenbury”, as well as apostrophe errors.

“No! It’s ‘Roddenberry’! Not ‘Roddenbury’!” Alec was furious. “Get it right!” He ducked as the Sue threw a glance in their general direction.

“Shush!” Sean hissed at him. “She can hear you!”

Kirk had a confused look, Spock looked fascinated, and McCoy looked at the girl like she was a maniac.

“Which she is,” Alec muttered, scanning the Words again. Sean thwapped him on the head.

“So you're telling me that this is a parallel universe. And that we're just fictional characters in this universe. And that there are also actors that once played our roles?” Bones said in his light southern accent with a very large amount of disbelief in it.

“That’s it!” Koster grumbled. Apparently the lack of logic was irritating him too. “Can we go?”

“Not yet,” Sean said quietly.

The girl said “Basically,” and the next thing she knew there was “a pain” on the back of her head and it was “lights out”.

“Is she dead?” Boromir asked hopefully. “Please, Eru, let her be dead.”

“NOW we can go.” Alec set the portal to the Enterprise, deliberately ignoring Boromir’s question.

*

“An ensign?” Toombs squeaked in the relative safety of the Enterprise’s corridors. “You made me an ensign?”

“Oh, shut up,” Boromir snapped. “At least you’re in Command and not Operations. We all know what happens to redshirts.” The Gondorian was decked out in a Sciences uniform.

“Eh, you’re right.” Despite this, Toombs still plucked at his undecorated sleeves. “She’ll come to soon. What do we do?”

“A-ha,” Alec smiled in spite of his horrible mood. “Guess who nicked Kitty’s CamSpy?”

“If you break that, she’ll kill you,” Kos warned. “You know how protective she is of her Perfect Dark things.”

Alec rolled his eyes and put it in the nearest vent. “C’mon, let’s hit the rec deck. Less chance of being noticed there.”

They blended in quite easily, or would have if the other canonicals could see them. “Let’s see what the Cam’s picking up.” Sean navigated it to sickbay, where as chance (or incredible timing) would have it, the Sue was waking up.

Bones was standing over her as she woke up. “You took quite a hit there kid.” He said to her with a smile.

“What happened to me?” she asked, apparently with a “confused face”.

“Well, it seems that a brick was thrown through your window while you were turned. We then picked you up off the ground, and then beamed up. And so here you are now wi-”

The ship shook, causing Bones to fall on top of the Sue and Team Phoenix to go crashing to the floor.

“Merde!” Sean swore. When they had picked themselves up, they saw that the Sue had risen, landed hard on her ankle and winced, but ignored it when the doctor whirled around to her.

“Lets-”

“L-e-t-apostrophe-s!” Toombs snarled, scanning the Words.

“-the bridge, and see what happened!” The doctor said to the Sue. But she was already on her way out and toward the “TL”.

“TL? ‘Tubular Luggage’?” Boromir asked, scanning the Words. “Kitty’s Sixwinter terms are rubbing off on me,” he said by way of explanation.

“Damn! They’re in the elevator!” Sean snapped his fingers.

Koster struck a dramatic pose. “To the bridge!”

*

“Sweet holy smeg, I love this place,” Alec grinned as he stepped out onto the bridge.

The Sue was standing behind the captain and asked, “What happened?” in a confident tone, the Great Bird only knows why. Kirk had spun around in his chair to look at her. Spock then answered "You may be disappointed to hear this, but we have been absorbed back into our universe by this 'Universal flux' as you call it." With his usual tone.

“Frag count: 1…” Kos rolled his eyes and started singing quietly. “A-Fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment fragment run-on run-on…”

Kayla was looking at the bridge crew, who were all obviously expecting some sort of emotional response, and then jumped up into the air, shouted “YEE-HAW!” and landed fidgeting in her own personal ceremony. And then came the obligatory paragraph-length clothing description.

The Teenage girl wore some dark, dark navy blue short pants, fishnets showed on the exposed areas of her legs, red Reebok classics, a black short sleeve shirt, with long red sleeves on a different shirt underneath, two rings on her left hand, one that was a silver dragon on her right hand, and a digital wrist watch. Yes, that was verbatim.

“Why are we born? Why do we die? And why is so much of the time in between spent wearing digital watches?” Alec asked under his breath, leaning on the wall.

“Punctuation abuse ahead,” Sean cautioned.

“Well you seem to be a happy camper.” said McCoy with a note of friendly sarcasm in his voice. She looked at him and nodded smiling “Yeah, from the way it looks, I'm gonna be joinin' Starfleet real soon!” she said with wide eyes.

“Oh, hell no,” Trevelyan growled. “Not on my watch, bitch.” Kayla glanced over in his direction, and he quickly pretended to be fascinated by the science station. She looked at the PPCer suspiciously before resuming her perky attitude.

McCoy looked at her, and she then turned to Captain Kirk as he said “Well first we'll have to go through some things before you join Starfleet.” with a stern, but friendly look.

*

“NOOOO! LET ME DIE! LET ME DIE!” Alec was being restrained from banging his head against the wall by Boromir, Toombs, and Tinu.

“No, dammit, we need you!” Boromir growled, attempting to calm the thrashing Cossack.

“MUST KILL!”

“You will, mate, you will,” Toombs said soothingly. “Just wait. You can have this one all to yourself.”

Tinu noticed the communicator beep that had been lost in the commotion and tugged at Toombs’ sleeve.

“Hm?” The Angel pointed to the communicator. “Oh, right, thanks.” Toombs flipped it open. “j0.”

Koster’s voice came from the other end. “j0 yourself. Sean and I were able to hack into Kirk’s log and we heard this:

“ ‘Captain's Log: Star date 4763.2.We've been thrown back into our own universe, but we managed to pick up a teenage girl. She seems to be happy about the fact that we can't take her back to her own time, and universe. I've also nodded she dresses very oddly. We've offered to let her change into the female uniform but she refuses to wear the women's uniform. She claims she hates dresses, they're too short, she can't wear pantyhose, and ‘go-go’ boots aren't her style. I've also noted that her behavior patterns are very odd as well. She seems to have a habit of running into the doors before they open. Dr. McCoy claims she's very energetic, alert, fightful, athletic, and has a remarkably healthy and well-built physique. She also plans on joining Starfleet, but I think we'll have to find her a legal guardian, and create files for her existence.’ ”

Ever alert, Alec pointed out, “Fightful’s not a word.”

A sigh from Koster. “Yeah…I know.” A pause. “You guys go and bug the briefing room for evidence. We’ll be…investigating. Take care of yourselves.”

Sean’s voice could be heard before the transmission ended: “Or rather, take care of Alec.”

“Right-o,” Boromir said cheerily, dragging Alec to a Jeffries tube nearby to hide, the perfect spot to eavesdrop on the briefing room.

“So convenient, these things,” Toombs noted.

A few hours later all the senior officers were in the briefing room with the Sue.

“First things first.what's your name?” Kirk asked looking over at the girl with the other officers. She replied “Kayla Ann Robbins, sir.” Looking back at him. He smiled a bit “Well hello Miss Robbins.I'm sorry we never caught your name earlier. You passed out before we could ask.” with a soothing tone of voice. She nodded “It's fine.” She said with a funny tone to her voice. She adjusted in her chair a bit trying to keep herself from falling off.

“So where are you from, Miss Robbins?” he asked with his hand on the tabletop, sitting in good posture, but leaning forward a bit. She had seemed to inhale and her chest was risen proudly, and she had a classic ‘proud to be a Texan’ smirk on her face as she said “Amarillo, Texas, sir.” with much pride in her voice. Her very voice, appearance, and presence demanded honor, pride, and a rock and roll royalty.

“I knew you was from somewhere in the south, kid! Just didn't you were from the mother of all the south!” McCoy said with a classic Southern smile as he looked over at the girl who smiled back slightly. She soon looked back to Kirk who seemed to look amused at the two with a slight smile across his lips.

“Do you have any particular national decadence?” Kirk asked her, looking back toward her. His face went back to a curious look.

“Yes, actually, Turkish Deli-mmph!” Alec said sarcastically, but was cut off by Boromir, who had clapped his hands around Alec’s mouth.

“Not. Another. Word. Master Trevelyan,” he growled.

“And I thought you were Polish.” Toombs said accusingly.

“Mmph mm!” Alec hissed through Boromir’s hand.

“Yes, sir.I'm Dutch, Swedish, German, Irish, but mainly Scottish.” she replied as Scotty grinned and asked “How much?” is his heavy, but understandable accent. “Uhh about half I think.” she replied to him. Scotty grinned again, but she soon looked back to Kirk.

“Well, Miss Robbins, the first thing we have to do is to find you a legal guardian.”

In the Jeffries tube, Alec let out a muffled scream.

“Please don't let me misguide you, but we need to talk privately, if you don't mind?” he said looking at her. She just smiled “Oh I don't mind.I understand, I'll be in the corridor.” She then turned and began to walk toward the door. A little too fast, in fact she ran right into the door just before it opened.

“Ahaha. Slapstick. Funny.” Boromir said in a monotone. Toombs waved his analysis device apathetically and sighed at the readouts. The OOCness of the canonicals was getting disturbingly high.

“Watch out for those doors, kid!” McCoy chuckled when Kayla looked back with a funny look on her face. She then completely exited to room, and sat down in the hall.

“Alright, men. We have to figure something out with this girl. She needs to have a legal guardian. And I myself have taken quite a liking to her. I've seen her; she knows how to work just about every little piece of equipment on this ship.”

“Talk about obsessed,” Toombs murmured idly.

“I'd like to have her as a crewman aboard this ship. But as I said, she needs to have a legal guardian, and files written up before we can do that. I'd like one of us four to take the girl under our wing. That's what we need to discuss.” Kirk said as he looked at his fellow crewmen as they all listened.

“Well ah could do it, but ah've never had any kids before.” Scotty said to Kirk who had looked over at him.

“Captain, maybe it would be best if we let the most experienced one with children decide.” Spock said as they all turned to look at McCoy. They all knew he already had a daughter named Joanna.

“Well from what she's told me when I was asking her about her background in sickbay, while I was mending her ankle. She said she's been under the care of since the age of. her parents.”

“WHAT?” Boromir yelped. The canonicals all looked at the ceiling, but having no follow-up on the noise, they surmised that it was just one of those weird things you hear on a starship. They were right. Partially.

“And you call me dim,” Alec muttered, having freed himself from Boromir’s death-hold on his mouth.

“I've also noted the way she seems to act more like a boy, rather than your typical teenage girl. She seems to be more curious, brave, clumsy, and goofier than your ordinary teenage human female.” McCoy said as the other three looked at him and listened.

“Thank you, Bones. I too have noted her gawky acts, and her tomboy personality. She also raves about a television show entitled ‘Jackass’. She seems to enjoy the idea of grown men doing completely stupid stunts” Kirk chuckled.

“Hence the name Jackass, Jim” Bones chuckled back. “But anyway.I think we should go ahead and write out her files, but we'll keep our eyes on her for maybe a week or so and see who seems to be more qualified into raising her. I guess it's more of ‘who becomes the most fatherly-type figure’ to her, really.” Bones said.

“Yes, I agree, quite logical, doctor.” Spock replied as he looked at Bones.

“Just watch out Spock, she may like you best!” McCoy chuckled as the Vulcan raised his brow. “I find the girl has taken a liking toward you. It may be because she is unfortunately just like you, doctor. Despite her gender, height, age, and gawky ways.” Spock replied. McCoy looked back “I think the kid is one very exceptional young’en” he said polishing his fingernail on his uniform. He had a very pleased look on his face. Spock just raised his brow and looked back to Kirk.

“Well, then it's settled, we'll all try to figure out who is most qualified to take her, and who she seems to bond to the most.” Kirk said and they all nodded in agreement. “Dismissed” Kirk said quickly after that and they all got up and walked out. Spock looked at the girl in the hall and got an idea to get more information out of her.

Tinu shook his head sadly.

An undetermined amount of time later, the PPCers were on the bridge, observing the Sue in the field.

They other three men saw that Spock was looking down at Kayla. They kind of watched, and then went back to their stations on the ship. McCoy was walking next to Kirk when he said “So I guess Spock is gonna test his skills with a teenager first, eh.” He chuckled and then headed off to sickbay. Scotty headed off to engineering, and Kirk to the bridge.

Kayla stood as Spock looked at her and he asked “Would you like to see the science station, Miss Robbins?” he asked in his usual unemotional tone. She already knew what those four were up to.She could sense it.they were trying her out.

She nodded and said “Yes, sir.” and then followed him to the bridge with a slight limp. Her ankle still hurt, but she ignored the pain and continued on.

Upon arriving in the bridge she glanced to the view screen and saw what seemed to look like some planet. She looked back to Spock who was already at the science station. She walked over, and looked at the science station console. Without even thinking she began to get to work, knowing how to work every little trinket on the console.

“Readings, Mr. Spock.” Kirk commanded, but then looked a bit surprised and turned after hearing a different voice.

“ Atmosphere made up of oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide. Atmospheric pressure: survivable. And life forms of humanoid class, animals, and plants as well, captain.” She said and turned to Kirk who was amazed.

“Uh, Thank you Miss Robbins.” Kirk said still a little surprised that a 14- year-old kid knows how to read that equipment, and work it at that. Everyone else with sense, aka the PPCers, wondered that as well.

“Well done, Miss Robbins. You'll make a valuable edition to Starfleet.” Spock commented as the teenager looked up at him.

“Addition, not edition!” Kos said quietly.

“Well, anyway, we have a mission to follow. Starfleet has given us orders to beam down to the planet's surface, and investigate for remains of a ship that crashed here about 200 years ago.” Kirk said in his strong and proud voice. He then pressed the comm. Button and said “Dr. McCoy, meet Spock, myself.. and Miss Robbins in the transporter room. We're beaming down to the planet's surface.” he said. He glanced over at Kayla who looked very happy at this point.

“Odd capitalization makes me cry, never mind Baby Jesus.” Sean said softly.

“Uh, Miss Robbins, why don't you change into a uniform first? If you're gonna join Starfleet we might as well get you used to the men's uniform, since you won't wear a women's uniform.” he said with a slight smile on his face as her expression was one of excitation. But then started to mentally pray she wouldn't get a red shirt.

Alec, however, was praying for the opposite. “Red shirt, red shirt, please, red shirt!” He chanted, fingers crossed.

A few minutes later Kayla arrived in the Transporter room with the other three waiting on her, and the PPC agents lurking in the hall. She wore the black short pants, black boots that were more like combat boots, a utility belt she rigged up on her free time, and a gold shirt. They all turned and looked at her. She looked very pleased with her uniform, but Bones looked a little disappointed, and asked Kirk silently “Why didn't you make her into a blue shirt.. like me?”. “I have a feeling she'll one day be a starship captain.” Kirk replied smugly.

“Ho-ly shit. That made no sense. He asked SILENTLY? And got a response?” Kos grumbled at the pure illogic.

Bones then said “I thought she might take to a medical career, doctor perhaps.” with a smug tone in his voice. “Gentlemen, I suggest you quit arguing over the girl's future. It's quite clear she'll be a science offer, and perhaps a second officer.” Spock said in the usual unemotional tone.

“First officer,” Alec lightly smacked his forehead against the bulkhead.

McCoy then looked at Spock “Oh so you DO have a soft spot for her, eh Spock?” he said.

“Will you three quit! She's got the mind of an engineer!” Scotty said cheerfully, but Kayla who had walked over then interrupted them.

“Can we go now? Whatever you're arguing about, just stop.for now! Please?” She said. Kirk just smiled. “You look good in that uniform, perhaps one day you'll be a captain!” Kirk suggested with a calm look in his eye. Kayla shrugged and answered, “Maybe.Let's just get on with the mission.”

Spock then noticed her utility belt. “That's not part of regulation uniform, Miss Robbins.” He said. She looked down at it and then backed up. “ I know, but I rigged it up when I had some free time. I think it may be quite useful if we run into any trouble, Mr. Spock.” She answered. Spock nodded “Logical.the tools on your belt seem to be consisting of grapnels, knives, knock-out gas bombs, emergency medical supplies, and boomerangs that resemble bats?” he said in a fascinated tone.

“Yes, sir.I think I'm making myself look like Batgirl.” she responded. She and the other then stood on the transporter platform.

“Headdesk,” Alec said calmly and thwacked his head on the wall.

“Ooh…fandom mixing.” Toombs tutted. “Not cool.”

“C’mon, let’s get to the Phoenix,” Sean said, heading to the shuttlecraft deck, capsule in hand.

Once everyone was in the runabout, Kos, the helmsman/navigator, opened the pod bay doors, HAL…er, the shuttlecraft bay doors and they descended down to the planet.

“Uh, question,” Toombs said, putting up his hand.

“What, sailwench?” Boromir, the co-captain and sole medical officer said cheerily.

“Why didn’t we just portal down?”

“Shut up now, Toombs.”

“I like fly stuff!” Kos grinned maniacally and the runabout started spiraling towards the planet.

“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL D’YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Alec bellowed.

“Fly stuff,” the helmsman/navigator simply said.

“WELL YOU’D BETTER BLOODY WELL STOP IT!”

*

The Phoenix made a smooth landing as the canonicals and the Sue started towards an Egyptian-influenced palace.

“Land!” Sean said, flinging himself down and kissing the sand.

“You’ll get dirt in y’teeth,” Kos said matter-of-factly, oblivious to his horrid driving skills.

“Don’tcareyaylandyay!” Alec retorted, copying Sean’s motion. Kos just shrugged and clicked the capsule, causing the Phoenix to disappear into the highly improbable device.

The landing party from the Enterprise advanced toward what seemed to be a palace and were then surrounded by what looked like Egyptian soldiers that all jumped from bushes, trees, and ditches all around.

“Who are you and what are you doing trespassing on the land of Osiris?” said a soldier as he walked toward the four.

“I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. I'm here with a few of my crewmembers to search for the remains of a ship that crashed here 200 years ago called the ‘Pheonix’.” Kirk responded.

“We almost crashed, but we didn’t, so what are they doing looking for us?” Boromir asked.

“No, no,” Toombs said, handing the Gondorian a copy of the Words on a padd. “See? It’s the ‘Pheonix’. Not the Phoenix. So we’re okay.”

“Ah.”

The soldier that had asked the question nodded, he seemed to have more decorated Armour than the other soldiers.

“You are keepers of the stars. You are guests. We have a feast in your honor!” announced the warlord. All the soldiers cheered and lowered their weapons.

“Yay, random feasts,” Alec muttered.

“I am Necater, Warlord of the Kingdom of Osiris. May I ask the names of the rest of you?” the Warlord's eyes drifted to Spock and McCoy.

“I am Spock.” Spock answered briefly. Then McCoy answered, “I am Leonard McCoy” he said.

Kayla came dropped into the view of the warlord and the rest of his soldiers. She was hiding up in a tree.

“May I ask when she did this?” Kos asked calmly.

The Warlord's look, and his troops' looks all widened.

“I am Kayla.” she said solemnly and noble. She had landed in a crouch when she jumped from the tree, and had slowly risen into a complete stand. The Warlord seemed to be pleased with this.

“A young one. And a female at that, the pride and honor of Osiris, but the figure of Isis.” He bowed to her as well did his soldiers. He quickly rose after they did.

“Come now! We feast!” they then led the four to the palace.

“Jim, I have a feeling that we'll have to keep an eye on, Buster over here. They seem to act like she's a goddess, or a queen.” McCoy said in a paranoid fashion, with a suspicious look in his eye. Kirk nodded in agreement “Yes, they to seem have a tendency to like her.” He said.

“Because she’s a Sue, duh.” Sean rolled his eyes.

They soon arrived at the Palace. Kirk stood at Kayla's left, McCoy at her right, and Spock behind her. They intended to keep her well guarded.

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Kayla had all arrived at the palace with the soldiers. Necater, the Warlord, had informed the Pharaoh of the guests. The four Enterprise crewmen had sat down in very comfortable chairs, while the assassins kept to the shadows. The chairs were wonderfully decorated. They all seemed to look like royal family members due to the way they lounged in the chairs.

“Yes, yes, they are lounging in chairs. We get it.” Kos said grumpily.

The pharaoh entered with a guard at each side. He sat on a throne and then two women “with tail feathers of an ostrich”, ostensibly with long, wavy ostrich feathers protruding from their bottoms due to iffy descriptions began fanning him. He was quite young for a pharaoh. He looked like he was Kayla's age actually.

"Welcome to my kingdom. I am Hefnire, king of Osiris' land." He said in a proud and noble tone.

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. These are a few of my crewmen, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Robbins." Kirk replied in his noble voice that would make aliens cringe in fear. The PPCers just cringed. The pharaoh looked at Kayla then the rest. He then snapped, and some palace maids took them each and into separate rooms. They each came out at basically the same time dressed in Egyptian styled clothing. They all looked at each other.

Kirk was wearing the standard skirt looking thing around his waist as well as his other crewmen. Kirk had a gold chest plate with red rubies in it on over his bare skin. Spock also had gold, but he had emeralds in his. McCoy's was Gold with sapphires in his; it really brought out his eye color.

Kayla was different though; she had on what looked like a full-fledged set of silver upper Armour that fit her female figure. They each had sandals on, and those famous headdresses Egyptian people always wore.

“Oh, of course, she has SPECIAL armor,” Alec growled.

“Alec? Chill pill.” Sean was busy recording various charges on a padd. Boromir was playing Tetris. Toombs was testing Tinu’s flying skills and finally had to stop when the Angel nearly hit a pillar.

Kirk seemed to have a lion carved into his Armour. Spock had a cobra hissing. McCoy's was a horse. Kayla had a wolf. They all looked at each other as the Pharaoh said, "Gifts from Osiris. Your Armour's carvings, precious stones, and metals all represent you. For example, Kirk, hold represents knowledge, wisdom, and greatness. The lion represents your ways of being a leader. Spock, gold as well, you are the cobra.only deadly when aroused. McCoy, you are the horse, noble and proud. And then you Robbins.your silver represents clever, brilliant, and brave. You are the monkey.humorous, friendly, kind, but sneaky as well.

“But I thought she had a wolf.” Boromir remarked, spinning an L-shaped block and pointedly ignoring the random presents.

“Do I have to watch this?” Alec asked. “I mean, they just talk, eat lots of stuff, and the pharaoh gets short-tempered. Shall we go thirty minutes into the future?”

“Eh…just wait a little.”

"Please sit and we shall discuss your coming here." The pharaoh said. They all sat at a table, the gauntlets they wore clanked a bit on the table as they sat. Once they were sitting, palace servants began to set platters, bowls, and other dishes full of many various foods. Roasted boar, breads, pig, ostrich, fruits, vegetables. many different things.

The pharaoh took some of the boar and a few other things. The others took what they wanted and began to eat. Kirk didn't each much, he just discussed with the pharaoh on their mission and all that such. Spock was discussing as well. Bones was eating that pig down fast. Kayla was eating, but she ate large amounts, Bones noticed this and whispered to her "Where'd you learn to eat like that?" in an amazed tone. "It comes natural." she replied and they both went back to eating.

“Periods…” Toombs said. Tinu squinted menacingly.

"We have reason to believe the crashed vessel is North of here.up the river." Kirk said to the pharaoh. The pharaoh looked a bit angry now. "I won't have you going up there, Captain!" he said in an angry tone. "We're going up there to find the lost ship, your highness! We have to under orders!" Kirk replied even angrier. "I will not argue with you, Captain!" the pharaoh said as he leaned back in his chair.

“But you are,” Kos said simply.

“Trying to apply logic again? Won’t work.” Alec seemed resigned to the illogic by now, slumping against a pillar.

"We're going up there whether you like it or not, Pharaoh!" Kirk shouted. The pharaoh snapped and the four seemed to go unconscious all at once.

“How? Why?” Alec groaned and covered his eyes. “And shut that damned thing off,” he snapped at Boromir. “I have the Tetris theme in my head now.”

“Someone’s getting cranky,” the Gondorian said sullenly, but turned off the Game Boy.

About 15 minutes later, Kirk woke up first. His arms shackled against the wall.

“Whoa noes a sentence fragment,” Toombs sighed. He, and the rest of the agents, had managed to wend their way to the dungeon through a conveniently placed ventilation shaft. It was useful, albeit rather cramped.

Kirk looked around as his 3 other crewmembers woke up as well. They too were shackled against the wall as well. He then looked to the dungeon door as a guard walked in and toward them.

"Pharaoh Hefnire is bored, therefore you, his prisoners, shall entertain him."

Alec nearly started to cry. Boromir gave him a vague pat on the shoulder.

The guard announced to them. Kirk looked angry with this. "We're not your court jesters! We won't do it!" Kirk cried out but then soon felt a pain in him.

“Nooo, he felt a pain in Alec, who detests this bleeding pointless story,” Trevelyan spat viciously, consulting the Words. Toombs gave him a chocolate bar, which the ex-double-O tore into with such ferocity it could have been the Sue.

“Mmmph, en’or’hins,” he mumbled through the confection.

"I would suggest you cooperate, or the pain becomes unbearable."

“Like this fanfic?”

The guard told them. Kirk quit his resistance as a few more guards came in and unshackled them, and led them into the main room. The PPCers preferred to portal.

The Pharaoh sat on his throne and watched them walk in. "You will be entertaining me.Get on with it!" he demanded. Kirk, Spock, and Bones kind of huddled about what to do as Kayla wondered off nearby. He seemed to have a crowd of guests for a party of some sort.

“Neh-neh-neh-neh-neh, homophone abuse,” Kos wailed. “‘Wondered’ off?”

“What was she wondering, the meaning of life?” Alec snickered.

“Fohty-two,” Sean said in a poor imitation of a British accent.

"Captain, what are we to do?" Spock asked. "We have to figure something out." replied Kirk. "But, Jim, we have nothing to use!" McCoy said in a worried and mad manner. Then the three heard what sounded like an electric guitar. They all turned to see Kayla playing an odd looking guitar that were hooked up to a set of amps.

“Okay, now where exactly did that come from?” Boromir asked.

Alec screwed up his face in thought. “Temporospatial claudication pocket?”

“What?”

He shrugged. “Something I read once.” He made a shushing motion and turned back to the Starfleet officers and the Sue, some sort of morbid facination driving him.

"Well, might as well." Kirk said and they walked toward a set of instruments. Spock took drums, Kirk on base, McCoy on second guitar. Kayla quit playing and huddled with them.

"Rock of Ages by Def Leppard." she said to them. They all looked at her "What's Def Leppard?" asked McCoy. "Just kinda follow me.see." She said as she kind of played through it and went over it with them. Finally they broke and began playing.

Kayla was basically the front-wo-man. She sang the song like it was meant to be sung. She was very talented at what she did. She was actually in a band called PMS before she got brought into this universe.

“Extraneous information alert,” Sean sighed. Toombs simply twirled the click-wheel on his iPod mini (predictably, green) and started blasting “American Idiot” so loud that the others were moderately surprised that his ears didn’t bleed.

Spock was actually a pretty badass drummer. Bones was kick ass on his guitar, and Kirk was awesome too. They all played pretty intense, but it was Kayla who was the real pro. Once the song was over they got some applauding and soon huddled again.

They quickly broke, and Kayla began playing what sounded like a talking guitar. She made it sound like it was talking like a robot.

Alec did a Data impression in response.

Then after that they all started singing "Sweet Emotion" together.

“Spock. Spock singing.”

Boromir grinned evilly and started to sing, “In the middle of the earth, in a land called the Shire lives a brave little Hobbit who we all admire…”

“Stop. Okay, stop. Still, he’s singing a song. About emotion.” Sean winced. “How amazingly OOC.”

Then Kayla started singing the other lyrics. Her and bones playing really cool, while Kirk and Spock backed them up and base and drums. Kayla was like the other Steven Tyler, but her voice was very rock and roll in the essence.

After that song was over they got another round of applaud. The pharaoh continued clapping and then stopped and said, "Quite talented, aren't we.?"

“You suck!” Alec booed, but hid behind the pillar so Kayla wouldn’t see him.

Kirk just looked at the pharaoh "We still don't enjoy it!" he replied. The pharaoh yawned "I want to hear something more extreme, and maybe I'll let you go." he said. They huddled again and Kayla immedietly said, "Let me handle this one on my own, Captain."

“Eff-seven,” Koster remarked. “Use it.”

She looked at Kirk. They seemed to communicate through eye contact. Kirk understood and nodded "Alright, Buster, let's see what your made of." He said.

Alec was grinding his teeth at this point. Toombs had gone temporarily deaf.

They quickly broke the huddle, and the other three sat as Kayla stood. Her guitar was a warlock.it had appeared earlier because that's what she thought of to use for entertaining. It was unknown to the Trek universe. It was acrylic, completely see through, but she thought again and it turned black, as well did her Armour. There was some kind of kinetic power she had. It seemed to be shifting. She figured it was a side effect of being entrapped in this universe.

Sean marked this down on the padd. Almost time…after a few more increasingly incomprehensible chapters, they could kill her.

The other three saw this shift, but said nothing. Kayla had begun to play a guitar solo. As she got further into it the strain on her fingers increased. She had never played so hard before. She played so fast, and hard that smoke began to come from the guitar strings, and her fingers began to bleed, but she kept going. Bones tried to get up, but was held back by Kirk.

“Ai, Eru, please make her die…” Boromir prayed.

Kayla kept playing and bleeding. Something of a storm was brewing. Miraculously the lightening struck through the palace and into Kayla. The lightening didn't stop her either. A cloud of Smoke had formed around her. Once it cleared out her hair was much like Sebastian Bach's mixed with Bon Jovi's. Her Armour was now her chest plate, gauntlets, a helmet that looked like the head of Anubis, the jackal headed god of the dead, Armour protecting her legs, arms, and just about her whole body. She was still playing.blood dripping through her gauntlets.

Once she finished she stood up straight from a kneel, and looked around at everyone staring. The "Egyptian" people looked stunned. Kirk and crew were just staring.

"Anubis!" the pharaoh cried. He soon got up and left after just kind of sitting there for a few minutes, thinking Kayla was actually Anubis, god of the dead.

Alec sat in the corner and wept. Toombs was blasting “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by now and it took a hard slap to communicate to him that the musical number was over.

The supposed "Anubis" looked over at Kirk, Spock, and Bones once the "Egyptians" were gone. The head of a jackal, green eyes looked through the helmet at the captain.

"Captain, I don't know how I did it but it worked!" said a shaken, and frail voice. "What are you?" asked Kirk with a questioning, and demanding tone in his voice. "Captain, It's me Kayla!" she said and the removed the helmet. "How did you do it, Robbins?" asked Kirk. "Well I kinda just thought about about lightening, and getting hit by it.then I thought of Anubis." she said.

Kirk and McCoy looked a little puzzled, but then there came Spock to save them on confusion. "Anubis is the ancient Egyptian god of Death, Captain. It was said that after one had died, they would go and see Anubis. Anubis would then weigh one's heart against a feather. If the heart was lighter than the feather, then one was a good person, and one shall live the rest of the afterlife in happiness. If one's heart weighed more than the feather, then one's soul would be eaten by an immortal beast." Spock told them. McCoy looked a bit grumpy, and confused at the same time "I didn't do well when it came to Egyptian gods in school." he said. Kayla put the helmet back on when Kirk said "But that still doesn't explain how you did it, Robbins." "I dunno how I did it, captain.I figure I have a shifting ability as a side effect from being trapped into this Universe.I wanna try something' else too." She said as she looked back at him.

The next thing Kayla knew is that she shifted into Captain Kirk's form. Kirk looked at her and then at his self to make sure he still obtained his own form. Spock looked quite fascinated. Bones was freaked out. "Damn it, Buster! Change!" he said to her. "Yes, sir!" she responded quickly and she had changed into Bones' form. Now he was freaked again "I meant to you!" he growled. She then changed back to herself in the Anubis armour. "Thank you." Bones said.

"That's amazing! A shape-shifter." said Kirk.

“OMG liek Founder2U,” Koster mangled.

“But can she command Jem’Hadar?” Alec asked absently, toying with a knife.

“If so, we’d be in trouble,” Boromir stretched.

Spock then walked to the other two men and asked "May I speak to you two alone, Gentlemen?"."Yes, Spock." Kirk replied. Kayla walked away before they could.Giving them privacy.

"Captain, we will have to make sure we set a proper example for, Miss Robbins. With powers like those, she could manipulate and conspire against us, sir." Spock commented. McCoy interrupted "Oh she's a good kid Spock! You know that! Well mannered, humorous, and southern."

"Bones.You seem to have a soft spot for her. And the way you got onto her about shifting.you acted like you were her own father, Bones." Kirk said to him. Bones looked at him for a moment "I'll admit it, Jim.She reminds me too much of myself. It's like having a teenage female clone around. I seem to have a parental attachment to her, but you have a good communication with her, Jim. She also seems to have the logic stored in her mind, like you Spock. She's also got the spunky attitude of Scotty.It's like someone has placed each of us in this girl, Jim." Bones said.

“Sooooo…she’s a combination of everyone’s genetic material?”

“Considering the rest of this story, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Alec flipped the knife a few times before catching it in midair and nearly slashing Toombs’ throat.

“Do you mind?” Toombs yelped.

“No, not really.”

Kirk hesitated to reply."She is like all of us isn't she?" Kirk asked and looked at Spock. "Yes, I have to agree captain, the testy qualities, and habits of the doctor, the boldness, bravery, and leadership of yourself, the attitude of Mr. Scott.. and the logic and mental structure of myself. Fascinating." Spock replied. "I have an idea." said Spock all the sudden.

Alec began to bash his head on the column. “No. No no no no no…”

He walked to her and brought her back after talking with her for a moment. "Please, lay down on this table, Miss Robbins." He requested. She laid upon the wooden table. "Spock! What're you going to do?" McCoy asked as he and Kirk walked over. "I shall attempt a mind meld with, Miss Robbins, Doctor." Spock replied as he placed his fingers on the Katra points after she laid down on the table. Toombs sat down and scrolled through the Words, collecting charges. Tinu helped.

Kayla felt rather "tripped out" right now. She could see all her memories running through her mind. Then she saw the blurry image of Spock, Kirk, and Bones standing over her.

Spock must've been running through her mind, trying to find her most known memories. She saw her memory of a fight she had this school year. The boy she fought had told her that Luke Skywalker was cooler than Captain Kirk.She beat the crap out of him! (Incredibly touchy, the Angel wrote.)

Then he brought her memory of when a house nearby was on fire. She had run to see what was going on. The firefighters hadn't arrived yet, and the children were still inside the building. She had run in, and pulled the children out. Then, an unflamed part of the house was about to fall over. She saw a man was next to it, and didn't realize it. She ran after him and pushed him out of harm's way just before the brick wall came tumbling down. She herself got buried in a five-foot pile of brick. (Incredibly resilient to damage, and too courageous as well, David jotted down.)

Next, she had won the school science fair. She had made a remote control airplane, but it wasn't your regular remote control airplane. She had a small camera/monitoring device installed in its cockpit. The camera's image of flying was relayed to a special monitor she rigged up for it. She had a cockpit kind of setup to control it's flying. She could control it from her own room. The US government wanted the layout plan of it. They could use it to develop war crafts to patrol the skies without risking any soldiers' lives. (Child prodigy, Toombs noted.)

Next was a memory of a family reunion. She wore her kilt, and other things. She was doing some dance with her family members. Then she was dancing with her Dutch part of the family with those wooden shoes. She then did some stupid things and seemed to be proud of herself. (Amazingly dim, Tinu scratched out. Toombs replied with “Is that a killing offense?” Tinu nodded.)

Then she saw Spock again.Everything becoming clearer. Her body temperature going back to normal.

"Welcome back." Bones said to her as she sat up. Spock then said, "Thank you, Miss Robbins.This has helped us greatly.".Spock had obviously told them about the memories he noted.

"You beat up a kid for saying 'Luke Skywalker is cooler and better than Captain Kirk!', Buster?" Bones asked. "Yeah! Captain Kirk is way better than some light saber swinging Jedi knight!" she replied. "Who's Luke Skywalker?" asked Kirk, curiously. "Movie called Star Wars.I'll tell you later." she replied loosely. Kirk nodded and then Spock said "I found the memory of the science fair quite impressive, for a youth of your age and time." Spock commented. "Thank you Mr. Spock." She replied. Kirk then said, "The memory of the burning building was by far, very bold and courageous."."Thank you too, sir." She said back to him. Then Bones just had to say "I admire standing up for what you believe in. And, besides.Jim's the best of all those Star chasers.Right Jim?" he asked smiling slightly to Kirk. Kirk smiled too " I try, Bones, I try."

Boromir groaned. “The utter cheesiness of this hurts. Let’s just portal back.”

“Someone say cheese?” Koster asked and shook up his omnipresent can of Cheese Whiz.

*

After a few minutes of planning, the three senior officers had studied the young officer to be. They had asked her tons of questions (Alec tried to interpret this as literal and was extremely disappointed when the Sue did not crumple) and after the questioning they began to think of a plan of escape.

"Wait a minute.I wonder if I'm like Q or something." Kayla ad said with her bent index finger's tip on her chin. She could have probably heard a shriek from Alec’s direction, if the others hadn’t soaked his head in a basin of water, effectively muffling his noise and getting water up his nose. She looked at them and then snapped thinking about being on the enterprise.it didn't work. But, as if on cue, a man appeared wearing traditional pharaoh clothing. Kayla knew who it was. Her favorite non- TOS (The Original Series) character, the infamous Q.

The agents winced at the in-text author’s note, and again at the appearance of Q. “He’s all right, as omnipotent beings go, I just wish he wasn’t so…annoying and plot-device-ish,” Sean complained.

"I always wanted to meet the famous Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Kayla Robbins." Q said with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Who are you, and how do you know who we are?" Kirk asked wearing his gold armour, Egyptian skirt thing, sandals, and headdress with a bit of traditional eye makeup the servant girls had painted on him. Before Q could answer Kayla interrupted, "He's Q.Of the Q Continuum. A race of higher beings of a higher dimension. He can practically do anything he wants." With a bit of a happy tone.

Koster had long since stopped counting the fragmented sentences.

"Dear child, from the sound of your voice, and how you so rudely interrupted, you seem happy to see me. No one is ever happy to see me. And it doesn't surprise me that you know who I am." Q said with his hands behind his back smiling in that manner he always did. Kayla was very amused with him, as Kirk, Spock, and bones watched. Kayla had found Q to be a character that most Star Trek fans seemed to hate. This is one of the reasons she had various drawings of Q and the TOS crew on her wall, that she drew herself.

“She’s got his characterization spot-on, though, I must give her that,” Sean grudgingly admitted.

Alec snorted. “How hard is it to write Q? You just need to think ‘incredibly annoying’ and you’ve got him.” He took a swig from a canteen he had brought along.

"Well Mr. Q, I have a feeling you have something to do with our being thrown into that universal flux." Kirk stated very cautiously. "Yes, Captain, I did." Q replied mischievously as he always did to Picard.

"You see Captain, as I assume, Miss Robbins here explained her world to you. She comes from a world where I am a disliked character in the television series known as Star Trek. Well I got the chance to see this world of hers, and came to realize that Miss Robbins here admires me. Therefore I thought there would be no harm in throwing her favorite captain, ship, and crew into a temporal universal time flux. Then I messed up your transporter coordinates, and then of course had the brick knock young Kayla unconscious." Q lectured and explained briefly, and feeling and looking very pleased with himself.

“Ork,” Alec said, spluttering water. It was anyone’s guess what that meant.

"Then again Mr. Q, you must have forgotten to realize that Miss Robbins may have had parents, and other people she was strongly emotionally bonded to." Spock commented as Q looked at him amusingly.

"To tell you, Mr. Spock, I had calculated she would take it quite well. From what I've seen, so far, you mind-melded with young Kayla here. You would obviously have to acknowledge that she is quite emotionally stable, and would be more than happy to 'Boldly go where no man has gone before' as your dear Captain puts it." Q responded to Spock quite intelligently.

"Logical to assume, but assumption is something that should not be used in these such matters. Children are more fragile than that of an adult, Mr. Q." Spock lectured to him. The two seemed to be in a showdown of intelligence. The agents took the liberty of portalling back before Q did.

Q just looked at him, and the next thing they knew they were back aboard the Enterprise in regular uniform. Q had taken the liberty to beam their Egyptian styled clothing and armour into each of their quarters. "I assure you. There are no remains of the 'Phoenix' to be found on that particular planet. But, I did take the liberty to beam your precious Egyptian style items into each of your quarters. And, Miss Robbins" he said and then turned his head to Kayla. "I took the liberty of storing the things you love dearest, from your universe, into your quarters here aboard the Enterprise. I will have you live and learn from Kirk and his crew. Then, when the time comes, I will retrieve you." Q told her with a slight smile. He was very interested in the girl due to the fact that she stood out in her Universe as one of the few 'Trekkies' who loved Q.

“I like Q,” Sean said.

“Shut up, you don’t count.”

"But, she has to have a guardian, Q." Kirk said to him. Q just looked at him and made the papers and files appear in Kirk's hands. "Decide which of you four take her under his wing, Captain." Q said and then he just vanished.

Kirk was just frozen, Spock very fascinated, Bones was just dazed at how odd and fast all of that had happened, but Kayla was smirking. Alec was trying to cut himself. Toombs leaned over and whispered, “It’s down the road, not across the street,” making the appropriate wrist-slitting motions. Alec raised an eyebrow and mouthed “Emo kid” at him. Toombs muttered, “Just because I listen to Green Day and know how to cut myself properly…!” Alec stuck out his tongue.

"Obvious Q thing to do." She stated bluntly. "Well, I guess we can all get back to our posts." Kirk stated and headed off to the bridge, with Spock following. Kayla looked over at McCoy. "Loosen up. The future is gonna be way weirder than that." She said as she slapped him on the back and then soon headed out.

After about of minute of recollecting, McCoy just turned and headed to sickbay muttering stuff like "And they said Space travel was gonna be simple."

Boromir stood up. “There’s an indeterminate amount of time from here to when she starts…singing…oh, Utumno agar tummen. Bloody hell.”

“Shall we portal forward?” Kos asked, looking mad as a March Hatter. Of course, this had been his normal look ever since he discovered Cheese Whiz.

Alec waved a hand morosely. “Eh. Whatever.”

Toombs looked sympathetic. “Poor Alec. I out-gothed him.”

That elicited a response from the gloomy agent; Toombs was off running down the hallway before Alec could catch up with him properly. Trevelyan crouched in a runner’s start, and, grinning wolfishly, took off like a shot.

“Oi, we’ll wait for you on the rec deck!” Boromir called after them.

*

An indeterminate amount of time later, the three remaining agents winced as an in-text author’s note came into play, interrupting their game of Zelda: Four Swords (Tinu served as the fourth player) on the rec deck.

(By The way, Danke Schoen is pronounced Dunka-shane like the song)

“Great A’Tuin up a pole,” Kos yelped, clutching his ears. “Must they do that?”

“Here she comes,” Boromir muttered out of the corner of his mouth. “Act natural, no matter how much this bothers you.”

She arrived in the rec. room and sat at a table alone. She had her sketchbook, and her earphones hooked to her CD player listening to it as she was drawing.

Toombs and Alec chose to waltz in at this point, both very tired-looking, hungry-looking, and giggling like schoolboys.

“’Sup ‘sup?” Alec asked good-naturedly. A little too good-naturedly.

Sean glanced at him funny. “Are you on drugs?”

Trevelyan shook his head. “Actually, Davey-”

“I said don’t call me that!”

“-let me hit him once before he made a crossbow with some of that EchoPlast stuff in his pocket. We decided to get some food after that.”

“Oh, it was a merry chase,” David said, a glazed look in his eyes. “From Engineering to Shuttlebay Two to the Bridge…great fun.”

“You two are mad,” Boromir rolled his eyes.

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy had walked in, noticed the Sue, and quietly snuck behind her to see what she was drawing, tailed by Alec, who couldn’t sit still.

"Wow. That's amazing!" McCoy said, as he saw the girl was drawing a detailed sketch of Spock looking like he was looking right at you. Well, they said it was a detailed sketch; Alec thought it looked rather like a pointy-eared stick figure and sat back down, bored. Kirk was very impressed. "Very skilled isn't she?" Kirk asked Spock who then looked up from the drawing and to his captain. "As you humans would put it, 'I am quite flattered'," he responded. Kirk and McCoy gave a light chuckle, and decided to leave her in peace and moved on to sit at another table.

A few minutes later Scotty, Checkov, Sulu, and Uhura walked in and sat with Kirk and co.

“Mini-Jem’Hadar alert,” Sean said, uninterested.

“Ooh, nice. Can we have one?” Toombs asked eagerly as he watched the three humans and the mini/Russian sit down at Kirk’s table.

“Remind me to talk to Nen and Rosie,” Alec yawned.

The canonicals were discussing something when they all glanced to Kayla who seemed to sway side to side with her eyes closed. She then began to sing a song none of them had heard before.

“Iau up a tree,” Alec moaned and tried to steal Toombs’ iPod. Toombs would have none of it, though, and he got Tinu to bash at his colleague’s fingers with the Game Boy. The newbie smirked smugly and began blasting “South Pacific”.

“Bloody Mary is the girl I love, Bloody Mary is the girl I love, Bloody Mary is the girl I love, now ain’t that too damn bad!” He mouthed at Alec. The traitor fumed.

Danke Schoen, Darling, danke schoen, Thank you for all the joy and pain Picture show, 2nd balcony was the place we'd meet, 2nd seat, Goldarts street, You were sweet.

Danke Schoen, Darling, danke schoen, Save those lies, Darling, don't explain, I recall, central park in fall, How I tore my dress, What a mess, I confess, That's not all.

Danke Schoen, Darling, danke schoen, Thank you for a waltz down lovers' lane, I can see hearts carved on a tree, Letters intertwined, For all time, Yours and mine, That was fine

Danke Schoen, Darling, danke schoen, Thank you for seeing me again, Though we go our separate ways, Still the memory stays, For always, My heart says danke schoen

Danke Schoen, Oh darling, danke schoen, I've said thank you for (Mmm) seeing me again, Though we go our separate ways, Still the memory stays, For always, My heart says danke schoen

Danke Schoen, Al beter` sane Danke Schoen.

“SoNg MaNgLiNg,” Alec emitted, alternating caps and all.

The Sue then opened her eyes, and NO! She forgot she was in PUBLIC!!! And lo, the assassins winced at the copious use of exclamation points. Everyone in the rec. room clapped, save the assassins. They were too full of rage, and in Alec’s case, headdesking. She looked so embarrassed. Kirk smiled to her, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, and Uhura smiled raising their glasses of whatever they were drinking to her and nodded with smiles. Spock nodded with a slight tilt to his head. But there was one other person.a cute guy with a smile that would make any girl melt, chocolate brown hair, and his hair was cut like a member of The Beatles. It was non-other than Ensign Pavel Checkov! He was only about 19 right now so he was drinking something with no alcohol. He smiled very sweetly and winked!

“Oh, no,” Sean groaned and cradled his head in his hands. Toombs took over for him and read the Words to see Kayla’s thoughts, though he had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn’t want to.

Kayla smiled at them and then let her eyes rest on Checkov for a moment, and then burned her head and blushed.

She exhaled slowly, obviously quite 'giddy', as she called it, after thinking that 'The' Pavel Checkov smiled and winked at her. [OH MY DEARLY LOVED GOD!!! YOU JUST LET THE FRIGGIN CUTEST GUY WINK AT THE ONE AND ONLY ME!! I seriously think I'm gonna friggin die!!!!] She thought. Toombs snapped back into focus and shivered. The thought had even drowned out his iPod. She quickly pulled together and walked over to them after they waved her over. She carried her Sketchbook over, and pulled her earphones out of her ears and turned it of setting it on the table after she laid her sketchbook down. She had placed it on her now closed sketchbook.

"Well, that was quite some impressive singing, Miss Robbins." Kirk said to her. "Please, call me Kayla, sir." She responded with a soft smirk. They all nodded. "Vell you can call me vhatever you like 'Kayla'." Checkov said very flirtatiously. [Down Boy!] Checkov mentally told himself as she smirked back. She decided she play hard to get, yet tempting, and playful all at once. "Ok.'Slick'." she said very smoothly. Kirk thought he might want to change the subject before this got out of hand.

"Well, I presume the name of that song was 'Danke Schoen'.?" Kirk said. "Yes, I'm not exactly sure what language, but I think 'Danke Schoen' is German for 'Thank You'. But, I'm not exactly sure." She replied.

Alec scribbled another charge down on the padd. “Ignoring…universal…translators.” He looked up. “I’m running out of storage capacity here, guys.”

"Vould you care to sing us another song, Kayla?" Checkov asked hopefully. "How can I turn down an offer like that?" she replied smirking. She quickly got up and managed to find a Guitar in the corner of the room. She picked it up and walked back over sitting back on her chair. She pulled her own personal guitar pick from her pocket. She held its tip on her lip looking around at them.

THE EVIL CLIFFHANGER!!!! MWHAHAHAHA!!!!

All five assassins held their ears.

Kayla looked at them. Trying to think of what to sing next.

“A-fragment-fragment-fragment-fragment…” Kos began to hum again. Boromir hit him.

Then it came to her! She began to play a rock and roll song.

“Christ on a bike…” Sean swore.

"If you guys pick up on the song, go ahead and sing along." She said just as she began to play her song. She was holding and electric guitar, and wearing her gold uniform. But she had rolled her sleeves up, tied on her spiked leather cuffs, finger armour, spiked collar, and changed into her pants known as 'punk bondage pants'.

“Oh, chahming gahments,” Toombs muttered in a false-snooty accent.

Then she began to sing the song right in key. After she walked over to the small stage nearby.

Living easy, lovin' free Season ticket on a one-way ride Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride Don't need reason, don't need rhyme Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too

I'm on the highway to hell (“Yes, yes you are,” Alec spat.)

No stop signs, speed limit Nobody's gonna slow me down Like a wheel, gonna spin it Nobody's gonna mess me round Hey Satan, payed my dues Playing in a rocking band Hey Momma, look at me I'm on my way to the promised land

I'm on the highway to hell (Don't stop me) (“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he growled.)

((Cool guitar Solo))

And I'm going down, all the way down I'm on the highway to hell

“Yeah!” Alec yelled, misjudging the end of the song. Kayla glanced at him and he clapped, as though he had actually liked the song. She turned away, satisfied, and Trevelyan made a rather childish face at her back.

She sort of let that last note on the guitar play out. Kirk, and co just stared like she was crazy, all except Bones.

"Damn it, Jim! I like that song! That was great!" Bones said out loud, sitting back, smiling. Kirk looked then turned his head to Bones, and then back to Kayla.

"You think you're really on a 'highway to hell'?" Kirk asked her. She just looked at him plainly and said out "No, just a cool song."

"How 'bout another song, Buster?" Bones asked hopefully. "Alright, Bones." She responded. She decided she'd want to sing another tough song. Didn't want to show her soft side, too much. She went over to a keyboard, and began playing some song.

The jarring strains of a completely random compilation of notes filled the rec deck. “Sweet Eru, make it stop,” Boromir yelled over it.

After a while of playing the song she kind of seemed to drift off. She fell down, but Checkov was quick enough to catch her before landing. Bones, and the rest rushed over as Checkov eased her into his arms lightly. Bones began to scan her.

"Get her to sickbay, NOW!!!" Bones said as he gestured for Checkov to take her to sickbay with him. The two men began sprinting to Sickbay, Kirk, Spock, Sulu, Scotty, the agents, and Uhura following. Alec was practically hop-skipping down the hall. Checkov soon had placed her on a biobed and Bones immediately injected her with a sedating drug. All the agents were wondering why, because she was already out cold.

"Vhat is vrong vith her doctor?" Checkov asked a bit nervously. Kirk and the rest were about to ask the same thing.

Bones continued working "Those shifting powers of hers seem to be draining, and causing a mutating side-effect of some sort." He responded in a polite, but blunt manner.

"What do you mean by 'mutating', Bones?" Kirk asked curiously, but concerned. "She's developing traits that are irregular to humanoids. It's extremely rare." He said as he pulled up from standing over her putting his tools away.

"Vill she be alvright, doctor?" Checkov asked worriedly. Bones looked very sad, and sighed, "We can't do anything, but wait." He said in a very sad tone and just looked at her. He looked at her in a fatherly type way, and all of the people in sickbay noticed this, but said nothing.

"Well, why don't we all just leave her to rest now?" Kirk said. They all nodded and walked out, the assassins in tow. Checkov stayed a second longer, but then left. Bones stayed in sickbay after Jim had said before he left "Bones, if her condition improves or worsens, please contact me."

“Okay, so according to the Words Bones stays by her all night, so here’s a perfect time for a nap,” said Boromir once they were out of earshot of the others. For once, they all got a good night’s sleep…except for Alec.

In the morning, after everyone had eaten a nutritious breakfast composed of combat rations and some Ramen that Alec had possessed the good sense to pack, off they went to Sickbay, loitering outside the doors. The CamSpy was once again made use of, to determine the best possible time to enter dramatically. Kirk was standing between the two bio-beds, but looking at Kayla, who was hooked up to a few machines. He watched her shrug, and seemed to look uncomfortable from something on or under her back. Kirk studied her for a moment.

Bones woke up after a few more minutes, while Kirk was studying Kayla, and Spock walked in.

"I see you have managed to fall asleep in your own sickbay, Doctor." Spock said as he walked in toward Kayla and Kirk. "Aww, Shut up, Spock!" Bones said grouchily as he walked next to Kirk, who was still studying her.

"Is she alright, Bones?" Kirk said as he looked up at Bones who was pushing him away lightly so he could check her stats. "This reads that her mutation has already occurred." Bones said a bit astonished and confused. Spock raised a brow and studied her in silence and noticed she seems to be uncomfortable while lying on her back. Bones and Kirk were busy reading her stats. "She's growing something, somewhere." Bones said.

"Doctor, from the way she seems to look uncomfortable on her back, I would assume her 'growth' is occurring in the spinal region." Spock said informatively. Bones took his word and looked at her moving around uncomfortably with Kirk.

"Lets turn her over on her stomach, shall we?" Bones said. The other two nodded and helped him turn her over. The three-stepped back after seeing something ripping through the back of her shirt and growing out a bit upward at a bit of a fast pace. The thing ripped through her shirt and was like two black bones growing from her back.

"What the hell?!" Bones said very freaked out just as Checkov, Scotty, and Sulu walked in. They stopped dead in their tracks and looked a bit freaked out as well as the two things grew from her back.

"What the hell is goin' on in 'ere?!?!" Scotty asked shocked. Before anyone could answer the two things began to grow layers of black feathers?

“I don’t know, did they?” Kos asked, scanning the Words.

Alas! A pair of black-feathered wings!

“ ‘Alas’? Oh, spare me from the angst,” he commented drily.

Kayla seemed to stretch her wings out across the room, brushing Checkov as the right one passed him. Each wing was 6 feet long when stretched out. With a wingspan of 12 feet.

They all looked stunned at the stretched wings as Kayla slowly woke up from her dreary sleep.

"Doctor, she's waking up." Spock said, and Bones rushed over to her side, seeing those brilliantly green eyes shine. Bones shooed the others out of sickbay and then went to Kayla who seemed to be in pain.

She buried her face in the pillow and sobbed "Bones, it hurts." over and over again. Bones sat in a chair right next to her biobed and kept softly saying "Shh" and was holding her hand that hung off the side of the bed. Nurse Chapel spied on him while she worked.

Suddenly, the doors slid open, revealing a blond man wearing captain’s stripes, pointing a phaser at Kayla and looking quite irate. “Not as much as this will!” he cackled insanely.

Kirk leapt up to question him. “Who are you, and what are you doing on my ship?”

Alec glanced at him, surreptitiously waving a Character Analysis Device. 38.09%. Sigh. “Starfleet Intelligence. This girl’s wanted for questioning.”

Now it was Bones’ turn to jump up and chide his unwanted visitor. “Hold on there, she’s just a kid! And something is wrong with her!”

“Oh, something is very wrong indeed, doctor,” another man with long brown hair and a beard remarked, stepping into the room as well. “Though not necessarily with her.”

“The wings are just a front, isn’t that right, Kayla?”

The Sue groaned. “Wha? They really hurt! I’m not joking around!”

Boromir rolled his eyes and stowed his own Canon Analysis Device, itself with a dismal reading. “Well, color me persuaded. Let’s just grab her and go, I want to be out of here as soon as possible.”

“Oh no you von’t! I von’t let you!” A horribly OOC Chekov yelled and charged Alec. The assassin only sighed and raised his foot slightly, a trick the normal Chekov would have seen coming. This Chekov, however, tripped quite comically over the outstretched appendage and crashed to the ground.

“Amateur,” Trevelyan muttered and hoisted Kayla up by her wings, a process that he knew had to hurt. For good measure, he cracked her on the head, too, knocking her unconscious for sure. “Out, Boz, lessgo.”

“I told you not to call me Boz,” Boromir snarled and picked up the Sue’s feet. The canonicals were too dazed and under the influence of the Sue to do anything, and just froze in place.

A quick portal back to the Sue’s quarters ensured that Alec’s twisted plan would not go awry. Toombs simply created an auto-changing booth with his EchoPlast, and Sean shoved her, and her goth clothes, into it. A short while later, the booth opened and the newly attired Sue nearly fell out. Alec slapped her in the face to bring her around. “Wakey wakey!”

She squeaked at the stinging slap. “What was that for?”

He ignored her and slammed her up against the wall. “Kayla. Ann. Robbins,” he snarled, punctuating each word with a slam. “You have been charged with mangling the English language, mangling the Star Trek canon, invoking Q to justify your actions, creating unimaginative civilizations, partially ripping off Stargate, causing nearly every.” Slam. “Single.” Slam. “Member.” Slam. “Of the bridge crew to want to adopt you, ripping off Batgirl, having really stupid powers, forcing the bridge crew to participate in a God.” Slam. “Damn.” Slam. “Musical number, being insanely good at the guitar, being absobloodylutely PERFECT at everything, knowing how to work sophisticated equipment without prior training, plotting a ‘nurse-me-back-to-health’ scheme, causing Chekov—that’s C-h-e-k-o-v, by the way—to act like a lovestruck fool, creating mini Jem’Hadar, Really Pissing Us Off, and being a Mary Sue.” He took a deep breath. “Among other things.”

“Any l