A story in the Grains of Time Saga. For an introduction to this saga, I recommend reading my mini-guide
Acknowledgements: I’ve used lyrics by Sarah McLachlan & Savage Garden in this story, two of my personal favorites. I‘ve also borrowed the wise words of Sigrid Undset & Hans Børli, who seemed to have thought the same things as me a decade and a century before.
Author’s note: This is the third story in my “Grains of Time” saga, following “Raison d’être”. It’s recommended that you have read the earlier instalments first, or you’ll wonder what the smeg is going on.
Disclaimer: I don’t claim ownership of any of the characters from Highlander: The Raven or Water Rats, although bazooka has promised me he’ll get their ownership signed over to me by the end of the year. He just needs to work on Hal and the guys from Panzer/Rysher first.. Until then, they’re just borrowed. The characters of Henrik Stromgard and Johan Herman are product of my own imagination, and are not true historical figures.
Dedication:
Dear sweet Benjamin. I never knew you, but your death at the hands of neo-Nazis have upset a whole nation. Your death has united us for one common goal. “Never again.” Here’s hoping the first racial motivated murder in Norway will be the last. Rest in peace, Ben. This one is for you.
It is not true that the past is merely things passed
~~~~~~
Herman hadn’t been scared many times in his life. He could barely remember the last time, when the Russians had hunted him down and killed him. He had died, and awoken to a new life. He had never felt fear again. Not in fifty years.
Now, he was looking into the face of Death. She had a beautiful face, framed by long curly hair. Deep brown eyes locked on his. And a sword lifted; ready to take his life away forever.
“Do you remember me?” Death asked him. He shook his head frantically. He would have remembered a beauty like her.
“Think back.” There was steel in her voice. “Auschwitz.”
He tried to think of something to say, but his throat felt dry. There was no forgiveness in her eyes. No mercy. He wanted to beg for it, but a sudden flash to a young girl begging for her life hit him. She’d had the deepest brown eyes he’d ever seen, and for a moment he had been lost in them. Caught trying to escape Auschwitz, she had been tortured and killed slowly. She had begged him to end the suffering. Begged for mercy. But she had been a Jew, a rat, and a vermin to kill. He had shown no mercy because they hadn’t been worthy of it.
Now he would get none. And a part of him was actually relieved. Looking into the deep brown eyes, he steeled himself.
She didn’t even flinch as she brought the sword full circle and lifted it high. And what had been Herman Kein, formerly Johan Herman of the Waffen SS, fell headless to the ground.
Margot didn’t allow herself to feel satisfied as her body jerked, taking the Quickening. There were more of them out there.
And as long as there was, she would not be able to sleep at night. The nightmares were always there. Awake or asleep, she would see again and again the faces of the thousands she had witnessed die. Dying for the simple crime of being who they were. She could still hear their screams in a night that lasted all day.
And their killers, laughing
******
David let out a small sob in his sleep, rolling away from his mother. He was having the nightmare again, where he saw his father get shot and die in front of him. A terrifying nightmare, because it didn’t end when he woke up.
His mother looked at him sadly, stroking his back until the sobs died away. She would give anything to take his pain, to give him back the innocence he had lost when his mother, then his father died.
But his mother had come back. Like an angel, not touched by death. She didn’t want to tell him the truth. That she was Immortal, never to die from old age or natural causes. That she could live forever, never ageing.
And the biggest secret of all was that he too could be faced with that fate.
She wasn’t sure she wanted him to.
Sighing, Rachel got up. The air condition hummed softly in the other end of the room, but other than that, the house was quiet. It wasn’t her house; she wasn’t even sure who owned it. Amanda had somehow borrowed it, saying it would be theirs as long as they needed.
But Amanda had left to help Nick, and the house was quiet. Frank was in his own house, preparing it for sale. She didn’t him to, knowing very well he did it to stay by her side and not be tied down. She just didn’t have the strength to argue with him.
She knew she was pushing him away. He assumed it was the memory of Jack, but.. Maybe it was. Or maybe it was knowing he could be gone in the blink of an eye too.
“Mum?” David’s voice sounded small in the dark room. She was by his side in a matter of seconds, holding him as close as he let her. Soon, he was asleep again, but she doubted it was peacefully.
And she sat like that, awake in the silent night, feeling no need to sleep.
Her nightmares came to her anyway.
*******
By Camilla Sandman
~~~~~~
Morning smiles like the face of a newborn child
Innocent Unknowing
Winter’s end promises of a long lost friend
Speaks to me of comfort
But I fear I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
~~~~~~
Nick Wolfe groaned as warm water began pouring over his tired muscles. God, he was exhausted. He’d always viewed himself as fit, but the last few days had made him reconsider.
Then again, he hadn’t been training for a thousand years, like Erik had. The man was a machine. He sighed, grabbing the soap and beginning to scrub away the dirt. Erik had kicked him into the mud after a match that had lasted precisely ten seconds. But it was five seconds longer than the last time, which was something.
Why the hell was he even bothering, Nick thought to himself. He was never going to be that good. He didn’t even want to be a part of this Game, but.. It wasn’t like he had a choice any more. Kill or be killed. He’d taken his first Quickening not too long ago, and he still remembered the power of it. It was almost luring, yet it disgusted him.
And then there was Amanda, the twelve hundred years old Immortal thief who had quite efficiently stolen his heart.
He sensed the buzz just as the bathroom door opened soundlessly.
“Erik?” he called out, opening the slide door. There was no answer as he strained to see through the steam. Fabulous. He had nothing to defend himself with.
“Should I be jealous?” Amanda asked, smiling as she stepped forward. She was wearing one of his t-shirts, he noticed. It was barely long enough to..
“Amanda..” he breathed, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Sydney for another week?”
“Do you really want to know..” She gave him a teasing smile as she slowly pulled of the t-shirt and dropped it in a pile on the floor. “Or can we talk about it later?”
He swallowed hard as his eyes travelled over her body. He had never made any secret of the fact that he was rather partial to it. Especially the way it felt next to his. Unable to control himself, he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her close.
“Definitely later,” he muttered, and she chuckled softly. Flinging her arms around him, she pulled him into an intense kiss and drove any rational thoughts from his mind.
*********
Rachel glanced around as she walked on the soft grass. She didn’t expect any from the Station to be there, but she was wary nevertheless. She couldn’t afford not to be.
The sky was slightly clouded, small dots of white here and there slowly moving southwards. The wind was lazy, but had a touch of cold in it. In Sydney, autumn was approaching. In Paris, it would be spring soon.
The gravestone was filled with flowers. The funeral had been just a few days ago. She had been there, in spirit if not in person. So many funerals. So many deaths. Jack, Jonathon, and a sweet girl named Lauren. All dead within weeks. And Kira, whom in a strange way seemed to live on inside her.
“Hey Jack,” she said, kneeling down by the graveside. Reaching out to touch it, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d some to her gravestone when he thought her dead. If he too had come to ask forgiveness for the terrible crime of living on.
“I’m sorry..” She paused, wanting to say so much, but not finding the words.
“David’s safe. We’re going to move to Paris, he’ll be safe there. I have friends who will help me protect him. I.. I won’t forget you,” she promised. “I didn’t want this.. But I’m trying to deal with it.”
Presence. She got on her feet without thinking, scanning the area for the source. She found it almost immediately. A young woman, dark brown hair, obliviously having noticed her too.
This was Holy Ground. She was safe. Or so Amanda had told her.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel calmed herself. Not all Immortals were hostile. Still, her heart beat faster as she walked up to the approaching woman. Pausing with a metre between them, Rachel had the distinct feeling of being sized up.
“I have no quarrel with you,” the other woman stated coolly. Rachel tried to ignore the sense of relief that flooded through her. She was getting paranoid.
Of course, for Immortals, that seemed to be a survival tactic.
******
“Rachel?” Frank called out as he pushed the door open with his foot, his arms filled with boxes. It was the last of his stuff. Rachel had pretended to ignore the fact that he was moving to Paris with her; he pretended to ignore her ignorance. He wondered who would break first.
“She’s out,” Helen answered, coming from the kitchen. She’d taken a few days off to stay with them. She still seemed in awe whenever Rachel was around, and he couldn’t really blame her. David seemed to have accepted it without question though. It was probably the shock, losing his father and everything. He needed something to cling onto.
“Out?” he shot back, dropping the boxes. Helen gave him a look.
“I’m not her babysitter, Frank.”
He just grunted, giving David a smile as the boy came walking from the kitchen as well, eating an ice cream. The boy’s face fell as soon as he realised it wasn’t his mum.
“She will be right back,” Helen assured him, “Why don’t you finish your ice cream in the kitchen and we can get you another one?”
Nodding obediently, David trotted back into the kitchen. He could watch the road from the kitchen window and see when another car pulled up. Then it would be his mum. She would come. She had promised to stay forever, and she never went back on a promise.
“What is it?” Frank asked as soon as the kid was out of hearing range.
“The station called me. We have another beheading.”
“Oh no..” Frank groaned “An Immortal?”
“They ran the dead guy’s fingerprints and description, and it turns out he was wanted by German authorities.”
“Wanted for..?”
“Genocide,” Helen replied with a sigh. “Turns out the guy was Johan Herman, a SS officer. The thing is, the guy hadn’t aged a day.”
“Immortal all right,” Frank muttered, “Maybe Amanda knows who the guy is. I’ll give her a call. She should have arrived by now.”
******
“With this kind of welcome I’ll stay away more often,” Amanda chuckled as she leaned her back against Nick’s chest. Her put his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. He smelled fresh of water and soap, a smell she drank in.
“What are you doing here anyway?” he muttered against her cheek.
“Rachel’s decided to move here.”
“That’s gonna make it crowded,” he remarked, not really objecting. He liked the two Australians, and the fact that both had been cops should help keep Amanda on the straight path. In theory, anyway.
“We’ll have to squeeze,” she grinned and gave him a very suggestive look. He could imagine just what she considered ‘squeezing’, and it was a rather pleasant image.
“Besides, you can just move downstairs with me,” she added as he began kissing the back of her neck.
“Or you upstairs with me.”
“What’s wrong with downstairs?”
“What’s wrong with upstairs?”
“Anyway, I thought you could use my help,” she said after a few seconds staring match.
“On what exactly?”
“You know, your ‘looking into Rachel’s Immortality’ thing.”
“I’m not..” he immediately began, then saw her look. “How did you know about that?”
“What am I, deaf and blind?” she countered with a smile, “I know you, Nick. And besides, I heard you two taking about it one late night.”
“You eavesdropped, you mean?”
“Details, darling,” she grinned, and he couldn’t help doing so as well.
“If I didn’t know better, I would think you were jealous.”
“Moi? Never!” she replied, just as the phone rang shrilly.
“Saved by the bell,” he winked at her as he went to answer it. “Nick Wolfe.”
“Hey Frank,“ he said a heartbeat later, waving at Amanda. “Yeah, she’s here. Aha. An Immortal? Are you sure? Yeah, that does sound like it. Johan Herman? Hang on, I’ll ask..”
He glanced over at Amanda, but didn’t finish the question. Her face was answer enough.
“She knows him,” he told Frank, “I’ll call you back.”
“Amanda?” She closed her eyes, remembering..
“But miss Amanda.. They are nothing more than vermin. We’re doing us all a favour.”
“I haven’t seen any runaway Jews, I keep telling you.”
“And I don’t believe you.”
“That’s your loss.”
“No, miss, that’s your loss.”
“Amanda?” Nick asked again.
******
“You must be Rachel,” Margot said after a while’s silence.
“How’d you know?” Rachel asked surprised.
“I’m Margot,” the other Immortal simply answered, “You’re a friend of Amanda’s, aren’t you?”
“Do you know her?”
“Only by reputation. She helped.. Helped my husband once.” His face flashed before her eyes, the last she’d seen of him before he’d disappeared in the snow and the Germans had found her again. It was still so clear in her mind.
“Margoooooot!”
“Run, Thomas! Forget about me!”
“No!”
“Just do it! I love you!”
Harsh German voices were approaching as Margot closed her eyes and knew she would die.
Gritting her teeth, Margot shook the memory away. It had taken her four days to die, and she still woke at night smelling burned flesh.
“Tell Amanda thanks for Thomas,” she told Rachel, walking off with hurried steps. She still had a task to do.
Something exploded a few steps ahead of her, and she turned to see a van coming at her, firing bullets. Diving behind the nearest headstone, she looked up to see the van speeding up and heading off. Seconds later, Rachel was by her side.
“Who was that?”
“Neo Nazis,” Margot grunted, “Which means, I’m close to bringing them down.”
******
“For them the war never ended,” Amanda accepted the glass Nick handed her, sitting down at the bar.
“It’s been fifty years.”
“Blink of an eye,” she looked up at him. “To an Immortal, that’s all it is.”
“So how do you know Johan Herman?” Nick poured himself a glass also, giving Amanda a long look. She suddenly seemed so old to him. Her eyes were dark and filled with more death than he could imagine. When she spoke of her past, she had always tried to keep her tone light, and it occurred to him that this was her defence mechanism. To live twelve hundred years, you needed one.
“I was there. Auschwitz.”
He tried to think off something to say, but found he couldn’t. He sometimes envied Amanda all the things she had seen, but sometimes he wondered if he wasn’t better off anyway. He’d seen terrible things as a cop, sure, but nothing of that scale. Auschwitz. A name filled with dread even to his generation.
“It was in the middle of the war. I was just passing through, when an escaped Jewish man came begging for help. He was so thin.. Escaped from Auschwitz, you see. I hid him. What else could I do?” Amanda turned the glass in her hand, staring at the alcohol rather than drinking it.
“Did he escape?” Nick asked, taking a sip of his own glass.
“Yeah. Last I heard, he moved to Israel and married another Auschwitz survivor. The Germans never found him. I was interrogated though. By our friend Johan Herman. The bastard. I said nothing, and the scumbag shot me. After the war I tried to find him, knowing what he would become, but I never did.”
“To kill him?”
“To fight him. It’s the only justice we have.”
“Some justice,” Nick muttered. She threw an angry look at him.
“What else would you suggest? We lock him up for what.. Twenty years and then he goes back to killing innocents?! You have killed murders too.”
“Self-defence.”
“And we kill in defence of the whole humanity. When there’s only one Immortal left, and he has the power.. Can you imagine if it were someone like Johan Herman?”
She put the drink down on the bar so hard some of its contents spilled, and jumped off the barstool.
“Where are you going?”
“Out!” she shot at him, and stomped off.
“Amanda!” he called after her, “Amanda!” The only reply he got was a slamming door.
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it
~~~~~~
David heard the door open, and came running into her embrace the second Rachel stepped into the house.
“Hey darling,” she muttered, kissing him on the head.
“What took you so long?” Frank asked, coming into the hallway. He looked rather anxious, she noted. It better not be any more bad news. She’d had enough to last her two lifetimes.
“Ran into an Immortal.”
“What?! Are you all right?”
“She wasn’t hostile, Frank. Calm down before you have a heart attack. I can watch my head. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Someone lost their head yesterday,” he defended himself with, “I thought maybe, you know..”
“Hello.” He turned to the strange woman standing in the doorway. “You must be Frank.”
“And you must be David,” Margot added, bending down. He gave her a small smile, looking at her in a curious way. Definitely a pre-Immortal. Immortals sometimes adopted per-Immortals, knowing their fate and quite often becoming their teacher after the first death. Throwing a glance at Frank, she had for a second the a feeling of.. Something cut. As if.. No, it had to be her imagination.
“Rachel?” Frank asked, “Care to explain? Don’t tell me she’s..” He trailed off, seeing the two women both turn slowly towards the door.
“David, wait in the kitchen, okay?” Rachel said without taking her eyes of the door.
“Mum.”
“Just do it!” Her voice felt slightly strained, as David hung his head and walked into the kitchen. Seconds later, the door barged open and Henrik Stromgard waltzed in.
Short blonde hair, and the bluest piercing eyes she’d ever seen. There was a look on his face of contempt, superiority and smugness. She almost had an urge to wipe it off him.
“Margot. I heard you were in town. Who’s your new friend? This can’t be the lovely Amanda Montrose whom I’ve heard so much about.” He gave Rachel a long look. “No, you’re too new to be Amanda.”
“Henrik. Long time, no see.” Margot tried to keep her own voice even, but failed miserably.
“Yes. Refresh my memory.. When have we met?”
“I was there,” she spat out, “Auschwitz. You led the camp. I remember you.”
The laughter. The awful, piercing laughter as he grabbed a Jew by her hairs and threw her on the fence. The body twitched as electricity ran through it and the woman screamed, an inhuman sound. The sound remained long after the body had gone still.
“I remember you,” she repeated, pulling her sword out. He only smiled.
“So you were the one who took poor Johan’s head. Poor soul. Could never handle the memories, you know. He was trying to oppose my little organisation. You did me a favour there, really.”
“You’re lying!”
“Margot, Margot, Margot. Now, normally, I’d take your head and be done with it, but it would be so impolite of me to spill blood on the carpet. Such a lovely carpet too, blue and azure stripes. You know, I bet stripes looked so good on you.” He smiled, but there was no warmth in his smile. “ Ah.. those happy memories.”
Margot swallowed hard, feeling bile in her mouth. Anna. Dear, sweet Anna. Her sister in spirit if not in blood.
There were no tears, no screams as Anna fell to the ground. Her back red with blood from the whip lashes. She just looked at Margot, her eyes holding a silent prayer.
Don’t forget me. Make him pay for this. Survive.
“Yes, I remember. Not you, I’m afraid, but there were simply so many.” He smiled apologetically. “Where you killed in the gas chamber, or was it a simple shot in the back of your neck?”
Rachel felt her bones turn to ice as she listened to the man speak. The horror of it was unimaginable. But worst of all, there was no feeling in his voice. He was merely stating facts. Margot had turned visibly pale, obviously remembering.
“No matter. I will finish the job.” His voice had turned to steel. “One day, you will all be gone.”
“No,” Margot lifted her sword to rest against his neck. “You were stopped then, and you will be stopped now.”
“Rachel, I.. Oh!” Helen came walking in, freezing as she took in the situation. “What the hell is going on??”
“Are you going to kill me in front of witnesses?” Henrik spread his arms. “Go ahead.”
“I will,” Margot steeled herself. “They know what you are.” He just laughed, but there was no warmth in his laughter, nothing cheerful.
“Do they now?” Henrik pushed the sword away with his hand, ignoring the cut it left.
“You bastard!” Margot hissed, taking a swing at him. He dodged it easily, the smile not disappearing from his face.
“I will let you have that one for free. Next time..” The threat hung in the air. “See you soon, *Jew*. Johan will watch as I take your head.”
******
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