- Much Ado About A Corny Answer, Snow in Australia and a Frail
Welshman
By Camilla Sandman
Disclaimer: Frank and Rachel are just having some fun, fun, in the sun, sun when the snow comes falling.. I promise they won’t get hurt Hal! Cos this is a fluff fic, not a tragic one, and then it’s okay for me to have them a while, right?
Author’s Note: The Title Game. Inventor: Camilla. Concept: You ask your friends to pick words from a dictionary, and use them for the title.
Goal: To get the weirdest titles ever.
****
“No Frank,” Rachel Goldstein said for the 100th time that morning to her partner Frank Holloway.
“Oh, come on!!” he whined, leaning over the desk, “I want to see!”
“No,” she repeated, “forget it Frank!”
“Spoil-sport,” he muttered, pouting. She rolled her eyes, and dived into the report again. When she peaked up a few minutes later, he was still sitting there, staring at her with a hurt expression.
“It’s not that big a deal!” she told him forcefully.
“Oh come on, we’re partners, we know everything about each other, how bad can it be?”
She looked up at him.
“Bad!” she simply replied. He smiled innocently.
“I won’t tell, I promise!” he declared, “just let me have a quick peak…” He advanced on her slowly, looking at her intently.
“There’s no one else here now… just a quick look, please?” he begged, trying to imagine just where she could be hiding it.
“Frank!! It’s just a tattoo!”
“Then why don’t you show it to me?” he pouted, “is it in some kind of secret spot…”
“Frank!!”
“Come on Rachel..” he grinned, but she was not amused.
“The day I show you my tattoo will be the day…” she searched her mind for the most unlikely scenario she could think off, “I bed you Holloway!!”
“That could happen,” he replied.
“Yeah, the day it snows here!” she shot back.
“Fine…. But I’m gonna keep you to that!” he replied, retreating to his desk. When she looked up from the report a few minutes later, he seemed deep in thought, pretty smug as well.
“Uh-oh,” she thought, then dismissed the thought from her head. Not even Frank could change the laws of nature.
****
The next morning Frank walked into The Welshman before work. He had a plan all worked out.. but he needed the help of an old friend.
“Hey Sarah,” Frank called to the young girl by the bar, “is your granddad upstairs?”
“Yeah,” the girl replied, “all worked up over not being able to get home to Wales this year.”
“Too sick?”
“Yeah. The Doctor says he’s too frail to fly all that way.”
“Bugger,” he replied, knowing how much the home country meant to the old man. That was what made him the perfect man to ask!
“Rhys?” Frank asked, knocking on the door as he got up.
“Frank… is that you?” came the reply.
“Yep…” Frank grinned, walking in, “no other!”
“What do you need?” the old man sighed. He was looking quite older than when Frank had last seen him, gray now dominated his hair, and his hands seemed shaky.
“What? Who says I need something?” Frank asked innocently. Rhys just gave him a look.
“I’m old, not senile Frank!”
“Okay, okay… I need it to snow,” Frank explained, getting a laugh in reply.
“Snow, here? You’re kidding right?”
“Afraid not. And you’re from Wales, you know all about snow..”
“Yes.. and rule number one about snow Frank, is that is only thrives in minus degrees, and when did you last have that here?” Frank shifted a bit.
“Well.. never. But look, I have a plan!”
“Oh no, another Frank Holloway plan…”
“Just listen….”
****
Water Police HQ, a week later
Rachel Goldstein stepped into her office to be met by the cheerful smile of her partner.
“Hello Rachel!” he almost shouted.
“Okay, what have you done?” she asked, looking around. The office seemed the same, no suspicious things sticking out.
“Whatever could you mean?” he smiled boyishly.
“Give it up Holloway, I know you’re up to something!”
“Like what?” She frowned, trying to think of anything he could have done. It had to be big, otherwise he wouldn’t be grinning so broadly.
“Frank, I warn you…”
“Oh come on Goldie, what could I possibly have done?”
“Do you honestly want me to reply to that?” she asked.
“I’ll give you a hint.. remember a conversation about a week ago?”
“Frank, we talk to each other all the time!” she replied.
“Well… about a certain something on your body…” She frowned, then something slowly resurfaced in her mind.
“That tattoo..”
“Spot on, Detective! Now do you remember what you said about me seeing it?”
She stared at him. He couldn’t have.. Nope, no way, that wasn’t possible! He waited, his hands folded behind his neck.
“That you would never see it, I think.”
“You said, and I quote: “The day I show you my tattoo will be the day…I bed you Holloway!!” And then you told me that could happen when it snowed here.”
“Which will never happen.”
“You sure?” he asked, smiling, “then you wouldn’t mind going on a little trip by your house?”
She eyed him suspiciously.
“Frank, I have no idea what you’re up to…”
“I’ll show you!” he replied, taking her by the hand, leading her out of the office. He winked at Helen as they walked past.
“We’ll be gone an hour or so,” he said, getting a grin from her.
Rachel followed him to the car, but when he attempted getting into the driver seat, she just snorted.
“I know the way to my house!” she declared, taking the keys. He chuckled, and kept the silly grin all the way to the house.
“Well, here we are,” she said as they pulled up, “here’s my house. Now what?”
He motioned her to get out, and with a sigh, she did.
“Yes.. here’s my house.. in sunshine and 30 degrees!” she said mockingly. He just grinned, whipping up a mobile phone, dialing a number.
“Okay, we’re here.. Now guys!”
She stared at him, wondering what the hell he was on about…. And then Rachel felt something cold fall in her hair, on her arms, on her nose.
Snow. She stared at the white substance on her hands.
“What the…??” she declared, looking up. Snow was falling at her.. from a plane.
“You like? It’s Welsh snow,” Frank explained, grinning, “me and Rhys got it flown in from Wales. He misses his country, and I needed some snow, so…”
“You… made it snow?” she asked incredulously.
“Yep, yep,” he grinned. She stared at him.
“Oh no…” she began, “you can’t possibly..”
“You said it would happen the day it snowed.. and it is snowing!”
“But.. but.. it’s melting when it gets to the ground!” she shot back, trying to think of excuses.
“It’s still snowing!”
She held her hands in defeat.
“Yo Frank!” came Sarah’s voice from a big truck approaching, “where do you want the rest?”
“The rest?” Rachel asked numbly, feeling totally lost and out of control.
“Just dump it here,” Frank replied, and the truck came driving up, lifting it’s load… and off it fell what had to be a ton of snow. Rachel stared, as some of it fell as far as to her feet, burying her up to her knees.
Frank waded to her as the truck drove away and the plane vanished too.
“I’m gonna owe these guys for the rest of my life,” he said with a sigh, “but it will be worth it!”
She still just stared as he took a bit of snow and threw it at her. That seemed to snap her out of it.
“You… jerk!” she declared, throwing snow back at him.
“What, I did all this for you, and no thank you?” he asked teasingly.
“I’ll show you thank you!” she shot back, tackling him so he fell backwards into the now melting, wet snow. He managed getting hold of her hand, causing her to fall on top of him.
And then she began laughing, and he joined in. They laughed and laughed till they were gasping for breath.
“All this because you wanted to see my tattoo?” she finally asked.
“Actually, the ‘bed’ part was what caught most of my attention,” he admitted, grinning.
“Tonight,” she promised, and his eyes widened in shock.
“You mean…”
“Well, I’m a woman of my word,” she said with a smile, pulling herself up, “and if it snowed, it snowed.”
He got up as well, brushing off the now quickly melting snow.
“But Frank.. one word to anyone about where I have my tattoo, and I’ll kill you, you got that?” He nodded eagerly, and she leaned in and whispered something into his ear.
“REALLY?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“You’ll see tonight, won’t you?” she grinned, walking over to the car. He shook his head in admiration.
“And Frank, one more thing…”
“Yeah?” he managed to get out, wondering how the hell she had managed to turn this into him standing awe-struck, and not her.
“Wear something light.. Reliable sources tell me it will be a hot night!”
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