Faded Scars
By Camilla Sandman
Chapter Ten - Epilogue
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe~
And the dark clouds in the minds of the people of Sydney began to diminish. There was still grief and anger, but there was smiles and laughter again, and happy occasions came about.
One such occasion was the wedding of Frank Holloway and Rachel Goldstein.
Two months had passed since the bombing of the bridge, and much had changed at the Sydney Water Police.
Jeff had quit, planning a grad trip to Africa. He was setting off after the wedding (couldn't miss that event!), and seemed more happy and relaxed than anyone could remember seeing him before.
Helen had taken a long sick leave, spending time with her family. Relations were still rather strained, but they were all trying. Rumours were that she had met someone in the survivor therapy group, but only Rachel knew the whole story and she wasn't telling.
Jack had got a new job, being part of a security council that the city had set up after the disaster. He was fairly happy, spending a lot of time with Sophie and had even gone on a few dates. So far no luck, but he was hopeful.
Mick and Alex were still sneaking around, even if everyone knew. The new poll was on when they would be caught making out in the Station. No one had won it yet, as Mick and Alex were rather good at the 'sneaking around' business.
George was the new detective permanently on board. He blended in rather nicely, and all the women lusted after him (excluding Alex, who had her own lust-object). He and Mick combined could make any female suspect talk.
Emma had been unapproachable for weeks after Tommy had left. George was the only one she didn't brush off, and the two spent many nights in a quiet corner of the Cutter bar, just chatting.
Donna, the baby of the Station, continued to be nice and a wee bit annoying and everyone loved her for it. She and Lance had become good friends (although nothing more), as well as with Erin, the new diver.
And Rachel and Frank.. Both had returned to the Force. Rachel had got a desk job (and everyone bet she or Helen would be the new Chief Inspector), Frank was on the task force collecting evidence after the bombings. David was doing well, getting through the first month had been the worst. He still woke crying in the night sometimes and would come trotting in to sleep next to his mum and Frank.
On one drunken night, Frank had finally got Rachel to set a date, and so here they were. Getting fricking married.
The whole Station was invited of course, and everyone had come, except Tommy, who seemed to have vanished. Not even Helen had the faintest clue where he was, but she hoped it was somewhere he could exorcise some demons.
It was a fairly gorgeous day, just a few pecks of clouds scattered on the blue sky. The sun was warm and nice, and the wind brought with it the smell of trees and flowers.
The ceremony was a rather complicated mixture of Jewish and Christian traditions. Although trying to avoid the wedding planning, Frank had read up on the Jewish tradition and even had a few chats to a rabbi. (to Frank wedding was a simple concept: show up, say 'I do', get on with the honeymoon). For Rachel, he wanted it done properly though.
He knew it delighted her, even if she complained it was a far too big a fuss. Even David was happy about it, smiling that amazing smile of his more often. He was a wonderful kid, and the whole Station was smouldering him.
He got to guide Alex down the isle, getting several winks from Mick.
Rachel wore a simple, beautiful dress that made Frank attempts to not stare rather pathetic. Truth be told, he wasn't the only one who ogled. Jack too, enjoyed the view even if he felt a small tug at his heart.
The vows and prayers were exchanged in quiet voices. Helen had to dry away a tear as the promises of love 'till death do us part' were exchanged, remembering that sometimes death wasn't that far away.
The breaking of glass and a rather eager kiss sealed the deal.
And even Jack had to admit they were both beaming. And though he felt jealousy flair up, he clapped as enthusiastically as everyone else.
As Rachel walked by, she gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled sadly. If circumstances had been different, maybe it would have been him walking her down the aisle.
And it was a bittersweet thought.
******
The unofficial reception was actually a barbeque party.
In true Water Police style there was much drinking to celebrate the occasion. Champagne and beer in a happy mix and there was more laughter than there had been for months. It was good to have something truly good to celebrate, after months of agony.
"To Frank and Rachel!" Helen offered as the crowd gathered around. "May they drive each other as nuts as they have driven us!"
A few chuckled as glasses were clinked.
"You always know what to say, Helen" Rachel replied, grinning as Frank put an arm around her possessively.
"Let's sneak away," he whispered in her ear, and she elbowed him.
"Behave, Francis."
He pouted slightly, and she grinned even wider. He was a jerk, but he was *her* jerk, always had been. And she truly did love him; not the innocent love she had once had for Jonathon, but an older, wiser love that knew no one was perfect.
She knew all of Frank's faults, he couldn't disappoint her. There were no illusions to dispel. Glancing over to Jack, she felt a small stab of.. Regret? Pity? She wasn't quite sure.
Mick had noticed Jack looking a bit blue as well.
"You okay, mate?" Mick asked and walked over to Jack, who was staring into his drink.
"Yeah.."
"She's quite a woman," Mick indicated Rachel, who was spinning her son around and looking more comfortable than Mick could ever remember seeing her.
"So is she," Jack replied, indicating Alex, who was staring at the wedding cake with a rather strained expression. She had been rather crook lately, Mick thought, and it was a bit worrisome.
"Yeah.."
"Hang on to her, eh?" Jack suggested, taking a sip. Mick looked up rather surprised, Jack had never been very positive on the subject before.
"You've had too much to drink, Jack, you're being nice."
"Ah, bugger off Reilly," Jack countered, but with a small smile. They toasted silently, before Mick made his way over to Alex, who was still staring at the cake.
"Hey Alex."
"Hey."
"You okay? You look a bit uncomfortable," he asked, putting a hand on her arm.
"I'm fine," she snapped.
"You don't look so good. Maybe you got the flu or something, it's going around."
"I don't have the bloody flu, Michael," she replied, sounding pretty testy. Something was definitely wrong.
"But you've been sick and.."
"I'm pregnant."
He blinked, then stared, then slowly, a huge grin began to emerge in his face.
"You're pregnant?? That's.. I mean, it's mine, isn't it?"
"What, you spend literally every night with me and have the nerve to ask that question?" she lashed out, and kicked him in the shin, as she always did when she was mad at him.
He ignored the pain, instead he took her by the arm and led her to the nearby boatshed and away from the sight of the others. A few glances were sent their way, but he ignored them. As soon as they turned the corner, he pushed her against the wall and kissed her thoroughly.
"I'm still mad at you," she whispered as he broke it off, but there was no anger in her voice.
"I'm sorry, it's just.. Unbelievable," he muttered, staring at her. "You're sure?"
"Yeah, I saw the doctor. I'm seven weeks along," she bit her bottom lip, and he leaned his forehead against hers.
"It's a good thing, right?" he asked.
"I think so," she muttered, "I mean, if you think it is."
"Yeah, yeah.." he grinned, and it was the smile that could melt just about any woman. She still didn't have any bloody defence against it.
"We're gonna have to talk about this," she told him. "Seriously. We have to find out what we should do about this."
"Yeah, yeah," he agreed again, still smiling. God, he was cute. And he seemed to be genuinely happy about the pregnancy, which touched her heart.
And it was strange.. She had got pregnant just after the whole tragedy had happened. Could there truly come something could from all that horror?
She glanced over at where the bridge had once been and wondered.
******
Further down the beach, Emma and George had taken a walk, Emma walking barefoot through the waves. She looked thoughtful, George noted, staring at the sky.
"Tommy called me today," she said after a while.
"What did he say?"
"Not much. I think he's abroad somewhere. He asked how I was doing. We talked for a little while. It was.. Good."
She stopped walking, and standing still she looked a bit sad. He wished there was a way he could make her feel better, she really deserved to have something to smile about everyday.
"He's a jerk, you know," he said and walked up to her.
"It would be easier if he were. He left me.."
"Nah," George put an arm around her. "He left his heart."
She smiled despite herself and leaned against his chest, watching the waves. It was simple and easy and good for once to be with a guy.
"Hey Emma?" he muttered, his breath so close it tickled her ear.
"Yeah?" she turned her head to look at him. He was smiling softly, looking so fabulous in the brilliant sunlight she couldn't help herself.
She leaned forward and kissed him, and he didn't protest. Parting his lips, he let her set the pace, gently exploring every inch of his mouth. She kept her eyes open, taking in the look of pure bliss on his face.
Yeah, it was simple.
She pulled back after a while, and he grinned widely.
"Does this mean I can finally ask you out on a date?"
"You better," she replied. They stared seriously at each other for a moment.
"Are you sure?" he asked, and she could have kissed him for being so considerate. In fact, she decided, she was going to.
And he had his answer.
******
Finishing her conversation with Jeff, Helen walked over to Rachel, and the two friends fell into an embrace.
"I'm so happy for you," Helen whispered, "I know you two will be good for each other."
"Thanks, Helen. I hope you.."
"Yeah.. I'm gonna be happy for her, you know? She would have wanted that," Helen smiled, thinking of Tayler. She would have wanted that.
"I know."
"If you ever need a babysitter for David so you and Frank can have some privacy, I'm a phone call away.."
"Thanks," Rachel laughed, "I'm sure Frank will take you up on that."
And Helen laughed too, feeling strangely liberated at long last.
She still awoke in the middle of night from nightmares, but she was getting better at dealing with them. Her therapist said they were a good thing. Her mind was healing, dealing with the events that had occurred in its own time.
Glancing out over the sea, she watched the dawning sun light up the waters. It was a beautiful scene, and it felt more like Tayler's grave than the actual grave did. A beautiful grave of sorts, the waves always singing a lullaby.
Tayler's lullaby.
******
Evening came, and people began to slip away as the barbeque was cleaned up. David went with Felix, to give the newlyweds some privacy. He looked happy as they drove away, Rachel noticed, waving cheerfully.
He missed his father, yeah, but he had the courage of a lion. He was going to be all right, they were all going to be all right. She could finally believe that.
Emma and George vanished together, holding hands and being terribly obvious. They didn't care, grinning wildly and foot flirting. The new couple of the water police, no doubt about it.
The rest vanished soon after, Jeff promising postcards from Africa and Jack quietly slipping away without saying anything.
Rachel didn't blame him for that, but she did appreciate that he had come. Despite everything, she would like to think he could be in her life somehow. She would always love him a little bit, just as she had always loved Frank even while she and Jack had been together.
Mick and Alex didn't leave right away, having found a secluded spot on the beach, they were watching as the moon took over the sky and the stars twinkled, like they had millions of years ago when their light had been sent out. Only now had it reached Earth.
"So what do you want to do?" Mick asked after a while.
"I don't know.. I wasn't exactly planning on this," she replied, leaning against the tree. He stepped closer, reaching out to touch her abdomen.
"There's someone alive in there," he said in awe, and she smiled. "Our baby, you know?"
"Easy for you to say, I have to do all the work!"
"I love you, Alex," he cut in softly, caressing her face. "I want to have a baby with you and I'll be there, whatever you need."
"I love you too," she whispered, and it seemed so easy to say it.
Up on the hill, Rachel sat down in the grass (bugger the dress!) and smiled. Cops and cops seemed to mix an awful lot these days. Alex had looked rather bleak earlier, and Rachel had her own idea why.
"Hey," Frank said softly, dropping down to sit beside her. He looked very buff, all dressed up, but she had serious plans to get him out of the clothes pretty fast. He was even more buff without any.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching Alex and Mick," she replied, and pointed over to where Mick and Alex were now hugging and kissing.
"Spying are we?"
"It's called surveillance, Frank. Look it up in the police handbook."
"Yeah, sure," he replied. "You think they'll make it?"
"If we did, anyone can."
He chuckled, watching Mick and Alex walk away, holding hands and he hoped it would work for them. They seemed good together. And he still owed Mick an embarrassing interruption of some kind – the guy was not getting out of that.
"Did you hear?" Frank said softly after a while.
"What?"
"They're gonna rebuild Harbour Bridge."
"It won't be the same."
"No."
He glanced over at her. She seemed sad, but there was something beautiful over here nevertheless, her hair seeming to shine even in the darkness. Across her forehead the scar had lost most of its colour, and eventually it would turn into nothing but a thin white line. But it would always be there.
Scars never really went away. They just faded.
There would be a new bridge, a new morning and new hope. And the faded scars would be a reminder never to take anything for granted.
"Do you think we'll have mattered in the end?" she suddenly asked, and a somewhat similar conversation they had once had occurred to him. Back then, it was he who had asked the question after he'd very nearly been killed.
"Ah.. We're just ants, Rachel. We're just ants you and I."
She glanced up at him, the faint outline of a smile on her lips. She remembered the conversation too, and what she had told him. "Think we can be happy ants?"
"I like to think so."
"Happily ever after eh?"
"Nah. Too boring."
She chuckled softly, leaning against his chest as he moved to sit behind her. He sneaked an arm around her waist, holding her close as they both looked at the skyline and the "Eternity" sign that had been placed where the bridge once had been. It was a tribute to the bridge that had been put up a few weeks earlier, and would probably be there a while. Maybe forever.
Moving on is not the same as forgetting. And the sign was a symbol of that.
"You do realise we're on our honeymoon?" he whispered in her ear and she smiled.
"You're hopeless, Frank."
"I know," he answered softly.
And she kissed him there, under the stars and in the light of Eternity.
For it's a clear and easy pleasure
And be happy in my company
For I love you without measure
Walk with me now under the stars
It's a safe and easy pleasure
It seems we can be happy now
It's late but it ain't never
It's late but it ain't never
It's late but it ain't never~
Author's Rather Personal Note: That's it, chickies. No more ratfic from Cam. I'd just like to say I've had a blast, and I cannot thank all those who have given feedback enough. I bow to you all. May you always find water and shade!
Of course, if you wanna keep on reading my writings, convert to Lord of the Rings fanfic – or keep an eye out for a certain Norwegian journalist…
THERE'S no use in weeping,
Though we are condemned to part:
There's such a thing as keeping
A remembrance in one's heart:
- Charlotte Brönte
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