A story in the Grains of Time Saga. For an introduction to this saga, I recommend reading my mini-guide
Till Death Do Us Part
By Camilla Sandman
Disclaimer: Raven's mine, otherwise they're all borrowed. Sadly.
Author's Note: Another story in the Grains of Time sage, but probably the last one.
This story implies a lot of things that happened in “The Ashes of Yggdrasil”, and should NOT be read if you haven't read that part yet.
Acknowledgements: Lyrics borrowed from Nick Cave and Arthur Kent & Sylvia Dee. I owe thanks to a nasty airway infection for finishing this.. If I didn't have that, I'd probably been doing sensible, real-life things.
To Ishmael – I'll miss you, you spoiled little fur coat
For you, dear; I was born
For you I was raised up
For you I've lived and for you I will die
For you I'm dying now
~~~~~~~~
It was a warm day, despite the sun hiding behind a stack of clouds. Heavy, dark clouds promising rain to come. The air was heavy and moist, and clung to you like a second skin. It was the end of summer in Paris, and the trees were sprouting fiercely green. As if they were trying to live as brightly as they could before they would turn brown and die.
Frank Holloway could certainly understand them. Letting out a small sigh, he dropped down on the couch. He felt warm and sweaty, and his muscles were sore. His little walk along the Seine had been longer than he intended. His doctor had told him to take it easy, but what did doctors know anyway? He felt better than he ever had.
He was a father. Little Hope Jacqueline Holloway had been born on a clear, sun filled day a few weeks and that's exactly what she felt like. Sunlight. His and Rachel's ray of sunshine.
It was a miracle. Not just because Rachel was Immortal and wasn't supposed to be able to have kids, but because.. Because it was him and Rachel.. As parents.
And then there was the biggest miracle of all.
She had agreed to marry him. He didn't even have to get her drunk to do it, which was nothing short of amazing. He felt ready to burst, like a bubble filled with happiness. Tomorrow he would marry the love of his life. If he died right now, he could honestly say he couldn't have had a better life.
Of course, he hoped he would live a long time yet. He glanced up as Rachel dropped down on the couch beside him. Hope was sleeping happily in her arms after being fed. She hardly cried at all, always seeming content.
“Frank?” Rachel asked softly, leaning into his embrace. He looked distant, and she wondered what she was going through his mind. Happy thoughts, she hoped. She sure was doing everything she could to give him just that. Even marrying him.
“Hmm?”
“You look a mile away.”
“Just thinking..” He let a finger trace the length of her arm, feeling warm and content. The baby in her arms smiled up at him. A kid. Him and Rach's kid. Of course, he loved David, but a kid of his own..
It would be something to leave behind. A proof that he had lived. Proof that once upon a time Rachel Goldstein had loved Frank Holloway. Loved him till death did them part.
It wasn't that far off. Not in Immortal terminology anyway. He hid his face in her hair and tried not to think off it.
It was just so damn hard.
******
“How do I look?” Amanda twirled into the room, wearing a light blue dress. The silk clung to her body, not leaving much to imagination. Her short blonde hair had grown for a few months, and framed her smiling face. Nick leaned back in his chair, taking in the sight of her.
“Divine?” he suggested, and she lit up.
“Darling!” she exclaimed, breezing over and dropping down on his lap. “I thought I'd wear it to the wedding.”
“You'll look spectacular.”
“I'd look even more spectacular with a matching necklace.” She smiled innocently. “Like the one they had at..”
“Yeah, yeah, you pointed it out to me,” he remarked dryly, nibbling on her earlobe. She chuckled softly, letting the subject drop. Her eyes fell on the computer.
“Myers got you working on something again?”
“Hmm..” he muttered, kissing her neck and the length of the scar. She had gotten it fighting an Immortal named Loke, and it reminded him even she could die. Of course, he would die trying to prevent that.
“Nothing that will keep you from the wedding I hope.”
“Nah, just a bank suspecting some employees unable to resist temptation.” He pushed the sleeve off her shoulder, kissing the soft skin beneath. “Besides, I wouldn't want to miss you in *that* dress!”
“Nick, this dress is brand new!” she protested as he pulled down the other sleeve. He ignored her, continuing his trail of kisses. She decided not to protest too much, just as there was a knock on the door.
“Nick?” came the cool voice of Bert Myers, Nick's boss, through the door. Amanda pushed herself off Nick's lap and sighed.
“Hello Myers,” she declared as the man in question poked his head in.
“Hello Amanda. Hey Nick,” Myers smiled in a way that was anything but heart warming. He walked softly into the room, reminding Amanda of a panther. He might look calm and relaxed, but under that was the calculating mind of someone used to hunt and being hunted.
“Don't worry, it's not work,” Myers paused by the desk, reaching into his jacket. He took out a folded letter and handed it to Amanda without further comment.
As soon as she said the letters on the front making out her name, something inside her froze. She only distantly heard Nick ask what it was.
“An old friend,” she managed to get out, and practically ran out of the room. Duncan. It was Duncan's handwriting. And suddenly she felt very happy, and very afraid.
******
Death. David Goldstein knew a lot about death, even though he'd lived only thirteen years. He'd seen his father die, and he'd seen his mother dead and then alive again. And he knew that his mother would never die unless she was killed. She would grow old in years but not in age, and Frank would die from her.
David knew all this partly from what his mother had told him, and partly from listening in on conversations he wasn't supposed to hear. He knew that he, like his mother, could live forever.
He wasn't really sure he wanted to. But sometimes, when he looked at Raven, he wanted to live as long as she would and make her laugh and smile all the time. He was good at that. When she came to visit, like she often did, he would feel strangely happy.
Even now, she had come to see the baby and stay for the wedding after having been away to her home country. She always brought little gifts with her, none as great as the magic piece of a tree. He wore it always, and sometimes it would tell him things. He had known the baby would be a girl before they had told him, and he had known they would name it Hope.
For weeks now he'd had nightmares about the wedding, seeing Rachel standing by the alter, alone and crying. It didn't make sense to him, why would she cry when she was so happy?
Glancing down into the living room, he could see and hear as Raven walked in and got to hold the baby. Staying carefully out of sight, he sat and listened to the conversation below.
“She is Immortal, no doubt about it,” Raven looked down at the baby who seemed to smile back. She was too young to smile yet though.
“I think she's hungry again,” Frank remarked, not wanting to start conversation again. He and Rachel had had it often enough. “I know I would be with a food source like that.”
“Pig,” Rachel replied as she caught his stare land on her breasts, but she did lift up the baby as she sent him a mock glare. He was trying to lighten the mood, she knew, and she appreciated the effort if not the method. He was trying to ignore the fact that their daughter was Immortal, and that he wasn't, and she almost wished she could ignore it too.
“I think she's just tired. I'll put her to bed,” Rachel said softly after Hope made a little yawn of protest. “I'll be right back.”
“She's beautiful,” Raven offered as Rachel left the room. “I heard you made Amanda and Nick godparents. A strange, but good choice.”
“Why strange?”
Raven smiled dryly, suddenly filled with fond memories. “Those of us who has known Amanda a while know her to be a bit..”
“Wild?” Frank suggested, feeling a smile tug at his own lips.
“You could say that. But behind her little act, Amanda has a greater and more caring heart than most people suspect. She won't let you down.”
A tense silence fell. Walking out on the balcony, Raven threw a glance up at the darkening sky.
“Looks like it'll rain,” she remarked lightly.
“Who are you really?” Frank suddenly, joining her on the balcony. She threw an amused look at him, but he plunged ahead “Why are you taking an interest in us?”
“Ever the cop,” she remarked softly, “always with your curiosity.” Seeing his glance, she sighed.
“I like you, is that answer enough?”
“No.”
“Didn't think so. Look Frank.. I loved Erik, and Nick was Erik's student. You are Nick's friends. That is part of the reason. The other part..” She paused, looking up at the sky again. “We all walk our paths. Mine has taken me here. And so here I am.”
“Who are you?” Frank asked, staring intently at her. She didn't squirm under his glance, didn't even blink.
“I am.. I am Raven, and Frigg, and Sol and many other names I have been given. I have been many things over the years; a teacher, a mother, a fighter, a dreamer, a peacemaker, a trader, a traveller, a student. I have done and seen things you cannot imagine. Who am I? I am the result of living eight thousand years.”
“Eight thousand?” He whispered, whishing his voice didn't sound so filled with awe.
“I don't know exactly how long, but it's my best guess.” She bit her lip, suddenly looking very thoughtful. “We didn't really measure the time in the same way when I was born. I was one of the first who came to live in the country now called Norway.”
She threw a look at Frank, who stared at her in utter amazement.
“And you thought you were old, eh?” she joked
“Eight thousand?” he repeated again. She pushed a strand of hair away as a gush of wind rushed through the window, still not making any signs of discomfort under his intensive stare.
“I've changed my ways and looks often enough that the Watchers think that many of my personalities have been different people. I don't want to be a research objects, so it's fine with me.” She sounded as if she was speaking more to herself than him, Frank thought somewhat dimly. He wondered if he should say something, but he had no idea what.
Suddenly she looked straight at him, her eyes clear and intense. “I envy you,” she said earnestly.
“Why?” he managed to get out, still struck by her eyes. They seemed so old, yet ageless.
“You live your life as best possible, and then you die. You have no choice in the matter. Even though I know you are afraid when you die, your family won't be protected anymore, you are lucky. They'll still live when you die. Me.. I get to see everyone I love die. I have outlived anyone I have ever cared about. I get to choose to live forever if I want to. But the price.. The terrible, terrible price. I wish I didn't have the choice.” She stood still for a moment, not moving an inch. Then the cloud seemed to pass, and she shrugged slightly.
“Nevertheless, the choice has been made,” she said in a firm voice. “It's started to rain. We better get inside.”
As he walked past her and into the room, he could have sworn her eyes were glistening with tears.
******
“Amanda!” Nick called out, the only answer a sudden darkness as lightning struck and the power went out. Cursing, he stumbled to the door and opened it. Through the pouring rain he could see the still form of Amanda.
“Amanda?” he called again, “you'll get soaked. Come in.” When she made no sign of even having heard him, his worry grew. Whatever had been in the envelope Myers had given her, it couldn't be good news. Myers had faked innocence at its contents, saying only a great Scot had given it and that was all the information he could give. Nick knew Myers knew more. Normally he would have played Myers little game, but right now he wasn't in the mood.
Taking a deep breath, Nick plunged into the rain and ran up to Amanda. She stood still, clutching the envelope. The letters had begun to wash away, but she didn't seem to notice.
“He is getting married,” she said without looking up.
“Who?”
“Duncan.”
“Duncan MacLeod?”
Finally she looked up at him, more in surprise than anything else.
“Erik told me about him,” he said simply. “He said you two had a relationship.”
She only nodded.
“Did you love him?” He wasn't even sure he said it aloud, his heart suddenly seeming to pound in his ears. He couldn't loose her. Not now. Not ever. Yet he knew he would. Nothing was forever.
Amanda more felt his question than heard it. Drops of water ran down her face, and she had given up on wiping them away. The rain kept on pouring down, and her clothes were soaked. She could feel Nick looking at her, but kept her own eyes on the ground. His gaze never faltered from her face.
“Yes, I loved him. I still love him.” She bit her lip. “You still love Lauren.”
His silence spoke volumes, and she felt a little sting in her heart. Lauren was dead, and she was sad for that, but.. In a horrible way, she was almost glad she didn't have to compete for Nick's heart.
“I guess I'm afraid someday he will come knocking, and you will go with him,” Nick said after a long silence. She finally looked up at him.
“There are no guarantees, but I will promise you this. Nick..” she paused, reaching out to touch his face. “I will love you.. Till death do us part. No matter if we're apart or together.”
He kissed her fingertips as they brushed over his lips. “Till death do us part,” he agreed.
******
“Frank?”
“Hmm?”
“You awake?”
“No.”
“Hope fell asleep at last.”
“Hmm-mmm.” Turning over to face her, Frank looked into her smiling face and even after all their time together, it still warmed his heart to see her smile like that to him. Suddenly tomorrow didn't seem so important as keeping that smile on her face.
He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, his hands already tearing at her clothes. She pushed herself against him, her white skin shining in the darkness of the room. Moonlight coming from her.
She giggled softly as he freed her from her shirt, and he joined her, not because it was funny, but because he was happy.
He was happy.
*****
David awoke suddenly, jolting up in bed. It wasn't a nightmare that had woken him, like often happened, but rather the insisting pounding on the window. It was raining. He watched it for a while, and then got up.
Curiosity got the better of him, so he poked his head into the hallway. It was empty and quiet, but through the open window at the end of it, he could hear faint laughter from next door. His mum and Frank had to be up. It didn't really surprise him. He had listened to their laughter many nights when woken from terrible nightmares. Walking past their room, he glanced into the living room and was surprised to find Raven sitting on the couch. Her body was shaking, and he realised with a pang that she was actually crying.
She didn't hear him as he walked over, feeling strangely confident.
“It's okay to cry,” he said. She looked up at him, her eyes large and filled with tears.
“David,” she muttered. “You should be in bed.”
“Are you sad?” he asked, stepping closer. She looked at his honest face, seeing nothing but compassion and caring. God, she had lived in a world of death and murder so long she had forgotten how innocence could look.
“Yeah,” she replied. He sat down beside her to her great surprise.
“I am too, sometimes. I miss my dad. I miss mum.”
“You have your mum,” she said surprised.
“She is not the same. She is so much sadder and happier and afraid.”
Staring at his face in surprise, she caught a glimpse of wisdom beyond his years. He had grown up.
“I'm sorry,” she said and meant it. Giving him a hug, she suddenly couldn't withhold her tears. He didn't pull back; instead he brought his own hands around her and held her. And they sat like that for a long time, the thirteen year old and the eight thousand year old.
Outside, the rain stopped falling.
******
Darkness came and engulfed the city silently, the wind singing a soft lullaby of distant noises. And then, as softly as the darkness had come, it began to fade. A hint of yellow on the horizon promised that the sun would rise again.
On a rooftop, David Goldstein watched the yellow streak with anticipation, glancing over at the woman beside him.
“I love sunrises,” Raven was saying softly, “you can live forever and the magic of them never disappear.”
He nodded in agreement, knowing she was sharing something special with him.
David looked at her, her hair gleaming in the sun and whipping around her as another gush of wind caught it. He was gonna marry her, he realised with a sudden jolt. He wasn't sure where the feeling came from. Maybe it was Yggdrasil. Maybe it was something else. He just knew it to be the truth
“Dawn,” he said suddenly, “you're Dawn.”
“Why did you call me that?” she asked puzzled
He shrugged, not sure how to explain the feeling that had come over him. She glanced over at him and smiled.
“I like it.”
******
Even before she was fully awake, Rachel realised something was wrong. The room was quiet; the only thing she could hear was her own breathing.
Her own breathing.
For a few seconds, it didn't occur to her that there was something wrong with that. Then her eyes fell on Frank's still, smiling face.
He wasn't breathing. His chest didn't rise and fall and his eyes were staring at something beyond her.
A sickening horror came over her, and she reached out to touch him. He was still warm. She traced his face, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, committing it all to memory. A memory that would be with her all her life be it ten years or ten thousand.
“Frank,” she whispered, “I love you.” She hoped he heard her, somewhere beyond.
Her eyes were so dry it hurt. She tried to breathe, but found she couldn't. Her body wouldn't move. She didn't know what to do. Suddenly getting up and walking to the phone seemed so very, very hard. So she stayed where she was, clinging to the lifeless body of Frank Holloway while the sun rose over Paris like it was any other day.
And of course, it was. Somewhere David Goldstein would watch the sunrise with what would be the love of his life, stroking her hair slowly. Somewhere Amanda Montrose would crawl into the arms of Nick Wolfe and wake him with a kiss. Somewhere little Hope Jacqueline Holloway would wake up.
Like any other day.
I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why ev'rything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
But I believe in Love
And I know that you do too
And I believe in some kind of path
That we can walk down, me and you
~~~~~~~~
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