Time Worthwhile -
A Sequel to Crossing the Abyss
By Camilla
Sandman
Title: Time Worthwhile
Author: Camilla
Sandman
Date written: December 1999/April 2000
E-mail addy:
Cammy_Sandy@hotmail.com
Category: Frank/Rachel romance, sequel to
“Crossing the Abyss”
Timeframe: Alternate season 4, with Jack dead
instead of Rachel and Frank has returned
Disclaimer: Hal & co. owns
Frank and Rachel, but no one owns Norway nor its people
Time Waits For
No One – the lyrics are by Cliff Friend. The poem at the end is from
Ulysses by Tennyson.
Author’s Note: This pretty much picks up from
Crossing the Abyss… so for those who don’t remember, here’s a brief
summary: Jack’s dead, not Rachel, and Frank has come back. They’re both a
bit uneasy around each other at first… And then they get sent to Norway,
where they start a romantic relationship, and deals with the aftermath of
Jack’s death. They meet a Norwegian detective by the name of Vegard
Hansen, who makes a play for Frank.. and finally they are almost killed in
an arson.
Everyone remembers now? Goodo. So, now they’re in Norway..
and the holidays are approaching.
Author’s Note 2: (April)
Ooookay.. I totally forgot about this “little” story.. I started it way
back in December, but forgot it when I started “After the Fall”. I
rediscovered it recently, and Sarah thought I should finish it, and then
Hilde began nagging me to finish it, and so I did.
To Sarah and
Hilde, who rocks!!
*******
Time waits for no one it passes
you by,
It rolls on forever, like the clouds in the sky;
Time
waits for no one, goes on endlessly,
It’s just like a river flowing out
to sea;
You’ll find that love is like this,
Each precious moment
we miss
Will never, ever return again.
So don’t let us throw one
sweet moment away
Time waits for no one, let’s take love while we may.
*******
If anyone would ask Rachel Goldstein what she
remembered best from her trip to Norway, she’d say snow. Well, if she was
honest, she would hafta admit it was a certain afternoon at a hotel room
with a certain someone else.. but since she wasn’t about to give that
away, she would have answered snow.
Yes, snow. It kept falling from
the sky in endless amounts it seemed. She had never in her entire life
seen so much snow, probably because she lived in Australia.. not exactly
known for having too much snow.
It had snowed when they had gotten
here. And it was snowing now as she entered the hospital. To see Frank of
course, he still hadn’t been released. She didn’t mind getting a bit of
space to work out her feelings, but she was starting to miss
him.
“OOOOOO!” she exclaimed, as a piece of snow managed to sneak
it’s way passed her clothing onto her bare back. Bloody snow!
The
weather report said it would snow way past New Years Eve. And she would
get to see it. Frank was stuck in hospital until Christmas Day, and she
wasn’t leaving without him. And getting a plane out of here in the middle
of the Christmas vacation would be damn near impossible.. so she had
agreed to stay here. She’d miss David.. but Jonathon, the bastard, was
taking him to New Zealand for the holidays, so she wouldn’t have gotten to
see him anyway.
So she and Frank would be spending a White
Christmas. Together.
Finally getting inside, she shook of the worst
of the snow, then marched into his room. He looked up at once, smiling
broadly when he saw who it was.
“Rach! My savior!”
“Bored
Frank?” she teased.
“Out of my mind!” he exclaimed.
She
grinned, then popped down on the bed, gazing into his eyes. He stared back
at her for a while, then got a mock expression.
“No greeting
kiss?”
“Didn’t know you wanted one…”
“Oh I always want one…”
he trailed off as she leaned in and he got totally lost in the magic that
was kissing her. Her hair was wet from the snow, and she smelled fresh and
of pine.
“Hmmhmm,” came a voice from the doorway, and they both
looked up to see Vegard standing there. He had a nasty habit of turning up
when he shouldn’t, Rachel reckoned. He had to have like antennas for
it..or something.
“Heya,” he smiled to them.
“Hey,” Rachel
smiled back, and poked Frank in the ribs after a few moments
silence.
“Yes, hello,” he cheerfully declared, giving Rachel a
“I-am-behaving” look. She gave him a “Good-for-you” stare in return.
“How are you doing Frank?” the Norwegian asked as he stepped into
the room.
“Bored senseless. I’d give anything to get out of here
and sleep in a real bed.” He didn’t add who he’d like to share it with,
but from the look Rachel gave him, he gathered she got the point.
“Oh yes, I can imagine,” Vegard said, “I was in here once for 3
weeks and…”
He trailed off watching the two Aussie detectives
staring deeply into each other’s eyes. They seemed to be unaware of him.
Mentally knocking himself for not noticing it earlier on and sparing
himself some embarrassment, he began tip-toeing out.
The door
banged open.
“Ah, mister Holloway, how are we doing today?”
exclaimed the doctor.
“*We* are doing fine,” Frank replied,
sighing. There was no privacy! What was it about Norwegians and barging
in?
“Ah yes, well, with any luck we should have you out of here in
no time!”
“I was hoping to get lucky real soon,” Frank whispered to
Rachel. She just gave him a coy smile in return, he decided to take that
as a promise. It still felt like he was walking in a dream, her actually
giving in to his advances! How they were gonna deal with it when they got
back to Australia, he had no idea, it would be complicated for sure… but
right now it felt like life had given them a breather. A chance to spend
some time together.
She was getting better too.. he could feel her
beginning to open up to him. There was still some issues between them… but
so far they had neatly sidestepped them.
“Maybe you’d like your
check-up now miss Goldstein?” the doctor asked her, and
sighed.
“Alright…. I’ll be back,” she informed Frank, and
disappeared out of the room with the Doctor, leaving Frank and Vegard
alone in the room.
“Sooo….” Vegard began.
“Yes?”
“You
and Rachel then?”
“Oh yes,” Frank said proudly, “me and Rachel.” It
felt weird saying it like that. He and Rachel. An item.
“Good for
you,” the Norwegian muttered, obviously embarrassed.
“Look mate… I
have a proposition..”
**********
When Rachel re-entered the
room, she froze in total amazement. Laughter. From Frank AND Vegard.
“And that’s when the moose ran off!” Vegard concluded, causing
Frank to burst into another fit of laughter. Then he noticed Rachel
standing in the doorway, and waved her in.
“Hey Rach… Vegard was
just telling me..”
“About mooses,” she remarked, causing both men
to start laughing again.
“Well mate.. I should get going…” Vegard
said, after he had stopped laughing.
“Got things to do after all,”
he added, and then winked to Frank.. who winked back??!!
“Do I have
reason to be jealous?” she asked as Vegard had left the room.
“Ah,
well ya know…I am such a charming…”
“Bastard,” she offered, and he
gave her a knowing grin.
“Listen, Rach…”
The door banged
open again.
“Right on cue,” he sighed, as the young nurse stepped
in.
“I’m sorry miss, visiting hours are over.”
“I’ll see you
tomorrow Frank…” she offered, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Yeah, alright,” he muttered, trying to hide his disappointment as
she slipped out the door.
He just hoped she’d like his little
Christmas surprise. With a grin he imagined what she would so if she
really, really liked it.
**********
She awoke with a gasp,
trying desperately to get fresh air down to her longs. For a second she
could feel the heat, then she realized it was just a nightmare.
The
fire. She sighed and rolled out of bed, putting her feet on the floor. The
cold hit at once. She had momentarily forgotten she was in what had to be
the coldest country on the Earth!!! The floor was ice against her feet,
and she instinctively jumped back into bed and shivered.
And to
think she could have been home, in well above freezing temperature, not
below!
Still.. it was beautiful, she had to admit that.
She
frowned. There was something.. something she was supposed to remember..
and it had to do with snow, somehow. She could ask Frank.
Frank..
The thought made her smile slightly as she leaned back on the
pillows.
She had no more nightmares that
night.
***********
Frank was asleep when she came on her
daily visit the day after. At first she was disappointed, but then she
found the quiet enjoyment of watching him sleep. He looked boyish, even
with the deep red scare from the fire. She reached out to touch it, a sure
reminder of their fight to get to this point.
And there it was
again. The feeling that she had forgotten something. She tried to let her
mind go blank, to let it up to the surface, but it stayed stubbornly in a
dark corner of her mind.
“Hey beautiful,” Frank smiled, and she
realized he had woken up.
“Heya handsome,” she
replied.
“The doctors tell me I can get out of her
tomorrow.”
“That’s good news,” she smiled.
“Was about time..
it’s the 23rd today.. I haven’t gotten any Christmas shopping
done!”
“A bit too late now.. It takes a while to ship down to
Australia. You’ll just have to give them when we get back.”
“I
guess.. we can buy them Viking Helmets and stuff.”
“They’ll love
that, I’m sure,” she grinned.
“We can have a theme party… bring
snow and stuff,” he suggested.
“I think it’ll melt on the way
down,” she remarked dryly.
“Yeah.. we’ll just make plenty of ice
though!”
“Make it nice and cold, eh?”
“Actually, my mind
drifted somewhere hot..” He gave her an innocent smile.
“Spare me
the details, Holloway.”
Their playful banter was once again
interrupted by Vegard Hansen poking his head in. For once, Frank didn’t
seem annoyed.
“Vegard, my man!”
“Frank.. Rachel.. You’ve
been working on the pronunciation.”
“Yep, yep.” Frank
grinned
Rachel stared at the both, wondering if she had walked into
an episode of the Twilight zone. Something was definitely up! But
what..
She locked gazes with Frank, trying to outstare him into
telling what was up. He didn’t surrender, and just stared right back at
her.
Francis James Holloway was certainly up to something, and he
wasn’t giving away anything. It almost felt like the good old days,
before..
“So, pick you up tomorrow, yeah?” she got out hurriedly,
feeling tears emerge.
“Yeah, but..”
She ran out in the
hallway, feeling the treacherous tears roll down her face. Frank stared
after her with a sad look on his face, knowing well who the tears were
for. And he didn’t blame her. He just wished he could hold her until they
stopped rolling.
*******
Rachel showed up at the hospital
bright and early, showing no signs of crying herself into sleep. Frank
didn’t let that fool him, but he didn’t comment on it. Their relationship
was still somewhat fragile, they had spent one night together, and things
had been pretty crazy after that.
“So where are we going?” she
asked as he directed up the huge hill. She could see Oslo become smaller
and smaller in her rear view mirror as they got further and further up.
The car was rented, curtsey of the Oslo Police Department, who felt really
horrible about the fire.
“Right here..” he pointed to the huge
wooden building they were approaching.
“Impressive…”
They
pulled up in front of it, and walk out in the biting cold.
“Let’s
run inside!” he suggested, his breath coming out as white
smoke.
She was inclined to agree, her nose was feeling like it had
become icy.
“Reservation for Holloway,” Frank told the clerk, who
at once seemed to light up.
“Oh yes, your partner called.. This
way.”
“Your partner?” Rachel asked as the clerk lead them through
the hallway.
“Here you are.. call if you need anything,” the clerk
told them, and headed back to the vestibule.
“Frank? Your
partner?”
“Oh, he meant Vegard.”
Raising an eyebrow, Rachel
looked sternly at him.
“You and Vegard?”
“Yep. Me and Vegard
had a chat…” he explained.
“Oh yeah? What about?” she
probed.
“Life in general..”
“Don’t kid around with me
Holloway!”
“Wouldn’t dream off it,” he
grinned.
“Frank!!”
“Rachel!” he grinned back, and then
pushed the door open.
“Here we are!” he exclaimed. She peeked
in.
It was a beautiful room, fire in the fireplace, no moose head
on the wall, a huge bed.. She sent him a look that told him she was
impressed, before walking in. The carpet felt soft under her legs, she
couldn’t resist taking the shoes off and feel the carpet against her bare
skin. It felt wonderful against her tired feet.
“You
like?”
She turned to him, seeing the almost boyish look on his face
warmed her heart. He had really done his best to give her a night of
magic.
“I like.”
He walked past her, and dropped onto the
bed, wearing the silliest grin.
“King size bed!” he called
out.
“You only have one thing on your mind,” she
accused.
“Yes I do.. That bother you?”
She rolled her eyes,
any reply she might have given got cut short when he dived in for a kiss.
When he finally broke of, she had forgotten what she meant to say. It
probably wasn’t important, or she would have remembered.
“You were
saying?” he grinned.
“OH!” she exclaimed, and tackled him. They
fell backwards on the bed, laughing.
“You’d fit right into the
football team here,” he managed to get out between fits of
laughter.
“They don’t play football. They ski,” she remarked dryly
before feeling the laughter make it’s way from her stomach and up her
throat again. It wasn’t that funny, she just wanted to laugh.. to bask in
the feeling of his laughter against his skin, like tiny little bubbles. It
was music to her ears.
His hand went to her cheek, brushing away
some strands of hair that had fallen in her face. She gazed over at him,
and saw the laughter had been replaced by.. that serious look he’d get
sometimes, just when he looked at her.
“Rach.. Bloody hell, I love
you.”
She felt an involuntary shiver down her spine. When he said
it like that, it suddenly seemed so.. overwhelming. She had loved and lost
more times than she’d care to count, what if..
“Frank..” she
whispered, taking his head in her hands, stroking his lower lip with her
thumb. He kissed it lightly, his tongue just barely touching her skin. She
shivered, even if the room was quite hot.
“I want to look at you,”
he muttered, taking her hand, leading her from the bed to the fireplace.
The light from the fire added an extra glow to her skin, her hair, her
eyes.. He let his eyes wander down her slowly, taking in every detail.
Lifting her hand above her head, she let him lift her blouse off, slowly,
his hands stroking her skin as they went upwards, all the way to her
palms.
She did the same to him, taking off the T-shirt with a
mysterious Norwegian saying on it. His chest had a red scar on it, but the
color seemed to be fading. She kissed the length of it, from top to
bottom, and from bottom to top. He winced slightly, but his hands were
busy unhooking her bra.
As it came off, he took a deep breath,
feeling his heart skip a beat. She was beautiful, her skin seeming to
radiate. As his hands began to trace slow circles on her breath she drew
in a sharp breath, but made no other response. Their gazes locked again,
she seemed sad yet filled with pleasure. She had endured much, they both
had, and there were no guarantees about tomorrow. She had learned it the
hard way, and more than anything else he wished he could remove the
sadness from her heart.
But all he could do, was give her joy now,
and hope it would last.
He kissed her long, tenderly, while her
skin felt like fire against his. Breaking it off only to remove the last
bits of clothing, their mouths locked again, more intense, more urgent as
their need grew. She closed her eyes, feeling the heat from the fire and
the heat inside her become one and rose.. rose until it was all she was
aware off, the fire that was her and Frank.
And suddenly he was
inside her, and the world exploded in a blinding white light as the wave
of heat rushed over her. She fell and fell, until his soft embrace caught
her, and she felt her senses returning.
“Wow,” he muttered against
her throat, his voice slightly breathless.
She had no breath to
reply with, and she didn’t want to bother either, leaning her head against
his chest. She could feel his heart pound fiercely against her
cheek.
“We didn’t get to test the bed,” she remarked as her breath
returned to her longs.
“The day is still young,” he grinned,
kissing the back of her neck.
“Mmm…” From the back of her neck he
continued downwards, his hands tracing slow circles on her
thigh.
“Frank!” she protested, “I’m not the Energizer bunny! I need
a moment to catch my breath!”
He looked up at her with an innocent
smile, then moved his hands slightly longer up. She gasped, feeling a jolt
of fire run through her body.
“Okay, I’ve had a
moment.”
*********
When looking back at the week that
followed, Rachel felt as if she was living a dream. Frank was spoiling
her, not only in bed (but certainly there too!), but in every manner he
could think off. Vegard took them skiing, and didn’t even comment on how
long they took to get just a meter ahead as they fell over laughing
whenever trying to take a step. Norwegians were perhaps born with skis on
their legs, Australians were not.
Frank proved that when he managed
to trip in his own skis and fall backwards. She couldn’t remember that
last time she had laughed that hard. And Frank was too happy to see her
laugh to complain about it being directed at him.
It was.. fun, it
was enthralling, it was romantic..
Frank Holloway romantic.. who’d
thought? Certainly not her, who had seen Frank’s relationship with women
from the sideline before. This.. somehow.. felt different. She felt at
ease. He didn’t push her, didn’t ask for more than she could give.
And once you got over the snow being so cold, it was pretty
amazing. At least she thought so now, when she was relaxing on the couch,
inside and watching it. Frank and Vegard had mysteriously disappeared
again,
The snow.. She felt her mind go black, felt herself go back
to the fire. As she had dragged Frank outside, just before she had passed
out.. there had been a boy looking at her. He had looked so strangely at
her, his face had somehow.. shone with pride.
Neo-nazis was behind
the arsons, Vegard had told them. If that boy..
“Rachel? Earth to
Rachel?” She looked up at Frank, then lifted her gaze to Vegard.
“I
saw a boy outside the hotel during the fire. Could it be possible that
they like to watch?”
“Risky.. but they have been known to take
risks. I’ll look into it.”
Sitting down beside her, Frank gently
took her hand as Vegard headed to a phone.
“You
okay?”
“Yeah..”
“Walk with me?”
“We just got inside,”
she complained, but did follow him out the door. The silence hit her at
once. The snow had such an amazing buffer effect. They walked in silence
for a while, looking at the clear night sky.
“The fireworks should
start in a couple of hours,” she remarked.
“Yeah.. New Years Eve.”
He seemed to want to say more, opening his mouth several times, but then
just closing it again. She gave him time. Just now she felt oddly at
peace.
“Rachel.. “ A heavy wind swallowed the rest of his
sentance.
“What?”
“I said..” he began, then the wind knocked
them both of their feet.
“Shit! I lost it!” she heard Frank’s
voice, and strained to see him as the wind blew snow in her
face.
“Lost what?”
“The ring!”
For a second she felt
panic grab her. She couldn’t.. marry Frank, it wouldn’t..
“Work?” a
small voice in her head asked her, “how will you know if you don’t
try?”
For another brief second she considered running again, then
she felt laughter press itself up her throat. Frank stared at
her.
“What?” he remarked sourly.
“Just.. this..” she got put
between fits of laughter.
“I wanted it to be perfect!” She nearly
fell over with laughter, not noticing how cold the wind was
anymore.
“Oh Frank! It is!”
“This? In a snowstorm, freezing
and I even lost the ring!! On New Years Eve…”
“It’s fitting!” she
laughed, than took hold of his face.
“And the answer is
yes!”
He looked at her wide-eyed, then embraced her wildly,
knocking her to the ground. And they laughed and laughed as the snow fell
around them, isolating all other sounds. For once in their lives, it felt
like it was only them, only them and the snow.
And then the sky
exploded in red and green colors as the first fireworks
began.
************
“There you are, just in time for the
countdown,” Vegard declared as he saw two very wet detectives walk in,
“and we think we know who you saw Rachel, a young boy named Henrik
Sørensen. We have nothing on him, but he’s under surveillance.”
“Oh
good,” she muttered, feeling her skin flash on fire. She may temporarily
have forgotten about the cold, but now that she had gone into the warmth
again..
“Weren’t you worried we had got lost in the snowstorm?”
Frank asked when Vegard didn’t say anything else.
“Huh? What
snowstorm?”
“This!” Frank exclaimed annoyed.
“That?” Vegard
pointed outside, “buddy, that ain’t even close to a snowstorm!” And then
he started laughing as hundreds of voices began counting
down.
Frank met Rachel’s gaze and they stared deeply into each
other’s eyes. She didn’t avoid his direct gaze, instead she met it with
the same intensity. She hadn’t really done that since… Another life ago,
before Jack, before..
“We’ve been living a dream.. and now reality
awaits.” She wasn’t sure if she said it or not, but he seemed to
understand it nevertheless, taking her hand gently.
Outside,
thousands of voices called out as the old year ended and a new began in a
flashes of red, green, yellow and blue.
It wouldn’t be easy. But
nothing worthwhile ever is.
*********
We are not now that
strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are,
we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and
fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to
yield.
*********
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