Disclaimer: Must we keep doing this? No, we don’t own anything. Except for Kate and Kira. We own them. But
nothing else.
*****
by Andy and Saphie
Chapter 13
It was pink!
“Oh, would you sstop nagging already? You’re worsse than my mom.”
“I’m not nagging!”
“You’re nagging.”
“I am not!”
“Are sso.”
“Am not!”
“Are sso.”
“Am not!”
“Are sso.”
“Am not!”
“Are sso.”
“Am not!”
“Am not.”
“Are so!”
“Sso you admit it then?”
“Hey!”
Gimli and Éowyn finally climbed out of the rift.
“It’ss about time,” Kira snapped. “We have a
world to ssave, you know.”
“Yes, you said that already,”
Kate muttered grumpily. “Though what we should be worrying about is your—”
“Quesst. Which iss alsso your Quesst, and their
Quesst. So, ssseing as we all
have a Quesst, let’ss, you
know, finissh the Quest.”
The last of the light dimmed and faded as night finally fell over the
Some plot inconsistencies
aren’t all that bad, Kate thought.
They marched for several more hours, in and out of cracks and faults
and pockmarks in the stony ground. As they climbed in and out of a large, ashen
crater, Kira stopped again, sweating profusely, and red in the face. She sat
down for a moment.
“Jusst—jusst give
me a minute,” she puffed, wiping sweat from her face. “Whew! Man, am I tired.”
“Do you want to sleep some more?” Kate asked.
“No, I’m fine,” she said defensively.
Kate gave her a funny look. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately. Are
you s—”
“Kate, stop babying me!”
“I’m not! Really, I’m not! It’s just that you were so tired before—”
“I wasss jusst
tired from all that marching, that’sss all. And ssome of you sslept, right?”
They didn’t answer.
“Right?”
“We didn’t need to. We weren’t tired. Only you needed to, because of
your sh—” Kate started, but Kira didn’t let her
finish. She screamed in frustration, stood, and started marching again, a
not-very-subtle way to show that she didn’t feel like talking about it anymore.
It was then Kate’s turn to scream in frustration. She stamped after
her.
“They have a stiffer necks than a dwarves,” Éowyn said in disbelief.
Gimli made a small sort of rumble in his throat.
“No offense meant,” Éowyn quickly added.
“None taken.”
Then they marched on…and suddenly stopped. From up ahead, they heard
two high-pitched yells of disbelief. Breaking into a run, the two drew their
weapons, and climbed over the lip of the crater. What met their eyes made their jaws drop in
disbelief.
They had finally reached the base of the volcano.
It should have been dark, and
bleak, and full of jagged rock, and black ash. It should have had no plants or animals, no life at all. It should have been a horrible, lonely,
frightening, dead place.
Mount Doom should have been
more, well, doomy.
Instead, a beautiful oasis greeted them, green and fragrant, and wet with morning dew. Birds chirped, flowers bloomed, strands of trees grew, and the sun shone through the clouds.
And sitting against a rock a little bit into the oasis, clothes ragged,
arms hanging limply at his sides, worn and filthy, looking completely out of
place in the green-ness (and also completely miserable) was Samwise
Gamgee.
Hearing their yells, he looked up and shock was in his face.
“It’s just like in the vision I saw in Galadriel’s mirror…” Kate said,
astounded, as Gimli and Éowyn ran up behind them.
Before Kira could respond, the hobbit jumped to his feet.
“Oh no!” he cried, his voice hoarse and raspy. He unsheathed Sting
angrily. “One of them is bad enough, but not three! I won’t have it!” He leapt towards them, a fire blazing in his
eyes.
“EEEK!” They both scrambled and hid behind Gimli and Éowyn. Sam stopped short when he saw the Dwarf and
Shieldmaiden, and rubbed his eyes with one grimy hand, like a child awakening
from a bad dream.
“Gimli? Lady Éowyn?” He murmured, somewhat shocked. “Or are my eyes
playing tricks on me?”
“You’re not seeing things, my dear hobbit,” Gimli said. “We’re as real
as you are.”
Sam sheathed Sting and counted on his fingers, a perplexed expression
on his face.
“If I’m not mistaken in my reckoning, Lady Éowyn, you should be in the Houses
of Healing right now, and Gimli, you should be nearing the Black Gate, with
Aragorn and Gandalf and the rest. What are you doing here?” He nodded towards
Kira and Kate, still hiding behind the Dwarf and Shieldmaiden, and when he
spoke his voice was more than a little bitter. “Did they bring you here?”
“Yes, but they are not like the others,” Éowyn said. “They are trying
to find the source of the new evil that has threatened Middle-earth and destroy
it.”
“‘New evil?’” Sam said. “Oh, you mean—” He moved his hands through the
air and made an outline of an extremely curvy female figure. “Them?”
“Yes. We have found out that that they are called ‘Mary Sues’ and they
are from another world. These girls are from that same world. Apparently the
War of the Ring is a well-known tale there, where people write their own
stories based upon it. Somehow an object
known as ‘the Bridge’ has brought these stories to Middle-earth and made them real. It is also putting the souls of
innocent children and young women from their world into the bodies of the
characters, and is controlling their minds.” She gestured towards Kate and
Kira. “Somehow these two have resisted. They’re trying to find the Bridge and
destroy it, so that our world is left in peace, and they can finally go home.
Gimli and I are helping them.”
Sam still looked at them suspiciously. “You sure you’re not ‘under the
influence,’ as Mister Gandalf puts it?”
Kate giggled, and every turned to stare at her. “What?” she asked
innocently. “He made it sound like we make everyone act drunk.”
“Actually, if you really think about it, we ssorta
do…” Kira pointed out.
“We are ourselves,” Gimli said, turning back to Sam. “And Éowyn speaks
the truth about these girls. They are not like the others.”
The girls stepped out cautiously from behind their hiding places.
“We don’t wanna be here,” Kira sighed. “We’re trying to ssave Middle-earth sso we can go
home.”
“As soon as we find the Bridge and stop the Mary Sues from coming,
we’ll be out of your hair,” promised Kate, noticing that Sam’s hair, like the
rest of him, was filthy. In fact, he looked as if he had been through hell and
back. Considering that Mordor was its
own sort of hell, it wasn’t a far cry from the truth.
Sam just stood there for a moment; his round, filthy face turning back
and forth between the girls as he considered all that had been said. He still
looked horribly suspicious. His coarse, grimy hand clenched and unclenched the
hilt of the sword as he thought.
Then his distrust wavered and snapped. His face finally softened. He
heaved a huge sigh that sounded like a mixture of relief, exhaustion, and
exasperation, and put Sting back in its scabbard.
He smiled slightly. It was a sad smile.
“Never heard of one of them not wanting to be what they are, but I’m
trusting my heart on this one. I’ve
always told myself ‘Don’t trust your head, Samwise, it is not the best part of
you.’ In any case, I’m much obliged that I don’t have to deal with more.” His
drawn, chubby face wrinkled in annoyance. “There’s already one here.”
Kira looked around in disgust. “Sso we
gathered.”
Sam harrumphed and put his hands on his hips obstinately. “This one’s
driving me right mad. She ignores me most of the time, which I don’t mind very
much because it leaves me to be me, as you might say, and that doesn’t usually
happen. But then she’s ordering me around! Says I’m her servant too, she does. In my mind, Mr. Frodo’s my only master,
no matter what anyone might say. You couldn’t ask for anyone kinder, and what
other gentle-hobbit out there would leave a nice home like Bag End to his gardener?” He sighed. “The only time she ever bothers with me is when she wants me to do something for
her. ‘Sam, wash my clothes!’ ‘Sam, cook my dinner!’ ‘Sam, kill those orcs and
protect me and my Frodo-kins!’ Though that’s a bit of
a stretcher on my part, as she rarely remembers my name.”
“What about Frodo?” Gimli asked.
Sam heaved a sigh that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul.
“He’s right cracked, as usual,” he said, his voice quavering. “Even worse with
us being in Mordor and all. He’s carrying such a heavy burden, and then one of Them’s got to
come along and make it worse! I can barely stand to watch! I’d kill her right
quick if I could, to lessen his burden, but every time I get too close, I lose
myself, and before I know it I’m running some errand…”
Sam put his hand through his hair, and looked up at them with the
saddest face a hobbit was capable of making. Had he not been so dehydrated,
tears would have been in his eyes. “I can’t stand to watch it anymore Gimli,”
he said, his voice breaking. “You know what it’s like. To watch. To watch and
not be able to do anything about it.”
“I do.”
“And Frodo’s hit almost as badly as Legolas is with—with Them, and when it comes to all that
torture, and those…other things, he’s
hit even worse.”
As he spoke, something seemed to build in him, some great anger. He
exploded with emotion, and unfortunately for the girls, it was directed at
them.
“Why do you people like to see him in pain? All of you—all of you
are—are cruel! You’re evil! He’s suffered enough! He’s been through enough
pain! He’s been scarred—wounded with knife, sting, and tooth, and a long
burden. Why can’t you just leave him to his rest, after all he’s done?! Why
can’t you let us all rest?!”
“That’s what we’re trying to do, Sam,” Kate said softly, her lower lip
quivering. “We’re trying to stop all this. We’re trying to let you all rest.”
“And more likely than not, we’re going to die trying,” Kira added
gravely.
Sam hung his head, and covered his face with his hands.
“There are times—there are times that I want to kill him,” Sam choked out. “To put him out of his misery. To stop his
pain. But it wouldn’t change anything. He’d just come back. We’ve all been
killed off before, and we’ve all come back, even if we didn’t want to. It never
changes anything. It never changes anything…” He broke into sobs. No tears
fell, however, from his dry and gritty eyes. “Why can’t they just let us rest
in peace?”
“We’re ssorry Ssam,”
Kira said sadly. “We’re ssorry
that you all have to go through thiss. All becausse of a bunch of sstupid
people are writing sstupid sstories.”
“Stories? Stories?! This isn’t some fireside yarn! For us, this is
life!”
“Sam, your anger shouldn’t be directed at these two,” Gimli said.
“They’re trying to stop this from
happening.”
Sam sighed and seemed to deflate. He hung his head, and squeezed his
eyes shut. After taking several halting, deep breaths, he spoke again.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that, it
just gets me so riled up, all of it. And I’m…I’m tired of seeing him hurt. I’m
tired…tired of being hurt.
I’m…tired…just so…tired….”
With that, his knees buckled out from under him, and he collapsed and
fell on his face.
“Sam!” Gimli cried.
The four of them leapt forward and Gimli turned Sam over on his back.
“Sam!” Gimli cried again, and he shook the hobbit gently. “Sam! Wake
up! Sam!”
“What’s wrong with him?” Kate asked worriedly.
“I doubt he’s had anything to eat or drink for days,” Gimli said. “Get
out my water-bottle.”
Kira complied and got Gimli’s water bottle out of his pack, and
unscrewed the top. Still cradling the hobbit’s head and shoulders in the crook
of his arm, Gimli held the bottle up to the hobbit’s lips and poured a tiny bit
of water into his open mouth.
Sam coughed a few times, then accepted the water greedily. Gasping, he
tried to drink it all in one go, but Gimli kept pulling the water bottle away
from his mouth.
“Not all at once! Not all at once! Slow down! Just a little bit at a
time,” he cooed gently. Sam obeyed. “That’s a good lad.”
Gimli cradled Sam in his arms like a child, slowly giving him water. Sam
had never known such relief. The water trickling down his throat was better
than the best ale, or the purest Miruvor.
Éowyn pulled out some lembas and gave it to Gimli. With his coarse,
thick hands he held the waybread up to Sam’s mouth
and helped the poor hobbit eat. With his dry, swollen tongue, Sam had trouble
swallowing.
“That’s it,” Gimli said gently. “Slowly now, slowly.”
It was the first time Kira saw this side of the tough, spirited Dwarf,
and it amazed her. She’d never thought that someone with that much fire in his
gut could be so gentle.
Then again, he had been an Elvellon, and
Elf-friend, after all. He was the only dwarf ever permitted to enter Valinor.
It shouldn’t have been a possibility—if Middle-earth had dictionaries the
antonym of “dwarf” would be “elf”—but it…it almost seemed that he had a slight
Elvish air about him.
And yet he wasn’t any less of a dwarf.
That was the most perplexing thing of all. The complexity in him…
But then she understood.
Gimli had never been a very complex character. Most fanfic writers
forgot he was even supposed to be there, or made him one-dimensional—“the
grumpy dwarf,” or “the sexist pig.” Even
Tolkien hadn’t paid Gimli a whole lot of attention. Of course, the good
professor could be quite forgiven for it, considering that he’d had a whole war
to conduct. Tolkien had to focus more on his characters’ words and deeds,
rather than their thoughts and feelings, and with so many other characters to
take care of, he hadn't really delved into the soul of Gimli, Gloin’s son, and brought his essence to the light of day.
He hadn’t been able to show what made him tick, or what made many of the other
characters tick, for that matter.
Until now, she had still been under the delusion that Gimli was a character.
Now she was seeing Gimli the Dwarf.
He was real. He had thoughts and feelings and quirks of character that
weren’t written by any author. They were him.
And that’s exactly why he could do
things that surprised her. He wasn’t being written…he just was. And Éowyn was too,
and so was Sam.
It was a surreal moment.
Kate seemed entirely unaffected by it, however, and Kira felt a slight
pang of jealousy. She wished she could believe in things as easily as Kate did.
Years before, she would have taken all this in stride…well, not the
being-trapped-in-different-bodies-and-being-chased-by-assassins part. That kind
of thing was definitely not easy to accept. But Middle-earth being real?
“Yeah!” she would have said back then. “Makes sense. S’gotta be real somewheres, dun’t it?”
But she’d seen…things since
then. She’d seen people she loved get hurt, found out that they’d gotten hurt
in the past. She’d seen what happened at the World Trade Center, and since
she’d been such a sensitive kid at the time, that had really messed her up for
a while. She remembered the time she opened up a Time magazine and saw a
zoomed-in picture of people jumping out of the windows. It had taken her an
hour to stop crying.
Life was hard, and like many people did as they grew up, she was
starting to harden because of it. She dreaded to think of what she’d be like
when she moved out and met the world head on…er, what
she would have been like. She had
wanted to be independent and make a life for herself, but she knew that she
was…er, she would
have probably been very cold person to cope with the bad things in the world.
That’s why Kate amazed her sometimes. At first, she had thought Kate’s
sensitivity and undying enthusiasm came from naivete. She was still young. Not
much younger, but enough. She didn’t know how difficult the world was yet. She
was sheltered.
She had long since learned otherwise.
Kate was sensitive, much like Kira herself had been before she’d
started to harden. Nevertheless she wasn’t naive. She knew about the evils in
the world. She was entirely aware of the pain and suffering of her fellow human
beings. Yet, somehow she kept herself from being overwhelmed by it, without
making herself care any less. Her mind
was open, and so was her imagination. And it seemed that they would stay open
forever. Kate wasn’t that way she was
because she was younger. She was Kate because, well, she was Kate. And she
would always be Kate.
Kira couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. She missed having that
kind of mind.
Gimli’s gruff voice shook her out of her reverie.
“Can you sit up now?”
“Aye,” Sam said hoarsely, making an attempt. “I reckon so. I doubt I
can stand for some while, though.”
He looked slightly embarrassed. “I haven’t had anything to eat or drink
for a few days,” he croaked. “There’s no streams or pools from what I’ve seen,
and no game—not that it matters seeing as I very well can’t hunt it down with a
sword anyway—nor any fruit or vegetables, for that matter.” A wistful look
passed over his face. “Oh, what I wouldn’t give for some of the Gaffer’s taters
right now, fried crispy and golden, with just a pinch of salt…”
Kate pulled out her own water bottle.
“Here,” she said, offering it. You should drink some more.”
“I couldn’t possibly,” Sam said. “You need it for yourself.”
“Drink it. I’ll be fine. And Gimli’s water wasn’t enough. You need more
after going all that time without any.” She pushed it towards him.
Sam shook his head and pushed the bottle away. “You won’t have enough for
yourself, and that’s a fact. It’s too long a trip—”
“Drink it.”
“Lass, I couldn’t…”
She glared. “Drink.”
He didn’t need any further encouragement, and emptied the whole bottle
without leaving a single drop.
After he was finished, he looked up at Kate and Kira with an odd
expression on his face.
“I was thinking about it, and you both look familiar. Very familiar.”
Kate and Kira shared a glance of horror. The last time they’d seen Sam,
things hadn’t exactly gone very well. They were hoping he wouldn’t remember the
encounter.
“Er, really? Uh, that’sss
odd,” Kira remarked, scratching her head.
“What are your names again?”
“Um, I’m Kate. That’s Kira,” Kate said.
“You know, now that I think about it, I could swear I’ve met you somewheres before…” He gasped, then spluttered in anger. “I
know you! You were at Tom Bombadil’s house! You were
after my master! You threatened to crush
him!”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant!” Kate said, frantically waving her
arms.
“That’s exactly what you said!” Sam shouted, climbing unsteadily to his
feet. “You said you’d crush him! Friend of Gimli or no, I won’t stand for it! I
won’t let you near my master!” He started to reach for his dagger.
“Now, Sam, I think you need to calm down,” Gimli said in a mollifying tone.
He put a hand on Sam’s arm and stopped him from drawing Sting. “I’m sure that
Kate didn’t mean—”
“I heard what she said! She said she’d put the crush on him! That’s
exactly what she said!”
Kate was still waving her arms, and shaking her head. “I meant that I
have a crush on him!” she cried. “It
figure of speech! It means I like him! I like him a whole, whole lot!”
She paused, blinked, turned a beautiful shade of crimson, and covered
her face in with her hands.
“I can’t believe I just said that!” she whimpered.
The look of anger drained from Sam’s face and a look of exasperation
slowly started to replace it. He rolled his eyes, definitely not a Middle-earth
habit, but unsurprising nevertheless when considering all the contact he’d had
with modern Earth culture.
“So you’ve taken a fancy to Mr. Frodo,” he said flatly. “You and
several thousand other girls from
your world. You have a bit of competition.”
A look of complete consternation passed over his face. “Don’t you have
lads your age back home, or is there a dwindling number of the opposite gender?
Or are they all squint-eyed orcish things? If there
was, or they were, I reckon it would make sense for you to fall for someone
you’ve heard a tale about, but if there are perfectly good males back where you
come from, I don’t rightly understand it!”
At this, Kira burst into laughter. “You’d think that, wouldn’t you.
Where we come from, Ssam, teen—er,
tweenagerss are sslaves to
their hormoness.”
“Har-mons?”
"Oh, never mind it. I don't feel like explaining. "
"There are boys, it's
just…they're…ohh," Kate groaned. "Forget
it. Er…where is
Frodo?" She cast a quick glance around the lush, little oasis.
Sam’s eyes went wide and he blushed red to the ears.
"He's…indisposed right now," he stammered.
Kira raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Uh, how sso?"
Kate blinked curiously.
“Sam, what’s wrong?” Gimli asked. He looked around at the oasis.
“Besides the obvious,” he added under his breath.
Sam continued to blush beet-red. He started squirming uncomfortably
under their gaze. "You know how I said there was another one of…your kind here?"
Kate's eyes widened. "She's alone
with him?!" she cried, horrified. "Oh, poor Frodo! Who knows what she's making him do! She could
be torturing him with bad poetry, or making him give her the Ring as a present,
or…"
Sam looked rather guilty. He blushed even more.
"It’s…a bit more complicated than that. See, he sort of got
cold…and she wanted to keep him warm…Now I
said to just put a blanket on him, mind you—"
Kate grabbed Sam's collar and shook him. "And you left them alone?!"
"She ordered me away, and I couldn’t help but obey her! There was
nothing I could do about it! Believe me, I tried!"
“Noo!" Kate moaned. "How can she do
this to him?! Where is he?!"
“Yet another horror in a world already full of them!” Éowyn said
grimly. She shook her head. “How could anyone treat the Ringbearer with such
indignity?”
“I don’t know, but it will be mighty difficult to keep myself from
setting my ax to her,” Gimli growled. “They treat the poor hobbit almost as
badly as they treat Legolas! Added to the burden poor Frodo is forced to
carry…”
Of course, Kira just had to
say something stupid right then.
"Eww! He lookss
like Elijah Wood, because that’ss how the writer perceivess him, right? I mean, Ssam
looks like Ssean Astin. Sso that means there’ss a naked
Elijah Wood in thiss oasiss
right now! Eww!!"
"Oh, stuff it!" Kate snapped. She turned back to Sam. “Now,
where is he?!”
"There's a clearing…" Sam said, visibly frightened by Kate's
sudden and rather aggressive change in mood. "But it's guarded!"
“Guarded by what?" Éowyn asked.
Sam went slightly pale. "You don't want to know."
"Where are they?! Where?!" Kate cried, her eyes wild,
although she didn’t grab Sam's collar this time, for which he was glad.
"All right! All right! I'll show you!" Sam said, and then he
shivered. "But that…that Thing
is horrible."
"Uh, what exactly iss it?" Kira asked, a bit
hesitant to just go barging in on whatever it was, whether a Mary Sue was
banging the bearer of the Ring or not.
Actually, the mere fact that such a thing was happening alone was enough
to make her hesitant. There were just some things you didn’t want to see…
“You’d have to see it,” Sam said. “You’d have to see it to believe me.
Now, are you certain that you’re willing to go on? You’re putting yourselves in
great danger…”
"We have faced many horrors in our time, Sam. You can lead us to
it," Gimli said gruffly.
Sam gulped.
Kate was getting a little afraid herself. Her eyes darted furtively
around the oasis, searching for something frightening enough to keep even Sam
away from Frodo. Nothing could frighten Sam away from Frodo, could it? It was Sam.
And Frodo. The very fact that this
was so was enough to guarantee that one would do anything for the other,
including going through a horrible black land of evil and death. It couldn’t,
then, be orcs, or Shelob, or anything such as that. Maybe it was some
aberration created by the Mary Sue?
Sam was still hesitating.
“Lead on, Sam. Your friends are by your side,” Éowyn said gently.
Sam shuddered again. “Follow me,” he said. “But be very, very
quiet…"
Kate gulped, but slowly tiptoed after the hobbit.
"It's for Frodo," She reminded herself, trying to keep her
teeth from chattering. "It's to save Frodo from that hobbit-slandering
slut…"
Sam moved slowly and silently through the underbrush with more than hobbit
care, and they followed close behind, barely even breathing. The hobbit made
not a single sound as he moved, and shushed them every time they cracked a twig
or crunched a leaf.
Sam reached an outcropping of rocks, and waved at them to stop.
"The clearing is surrounded by a tight ring of trees and the thing
is just up ahead, waiting right outside. Have your weapons ready." Sam
pulled out Sting. The others all followed suit with their own weapons. “I
couldn’t defeat it alone. It nearly killed me the last few times I tried. I was
resting up for another go when you first saw me, and trying to figure out a way
to kill it. But maybe with the four of us…”
Kira pulled out her bow. Her shoulder still hurt like hell, but after
Gimli's treatment, some of the weakness was gone.
And whatever it was, she'd rather hit the damn thing while it was still
a few yards away.
"You can go ahead, but only if you're truly brave. The entrance to
the clearing is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that it's impossible
to get past it! So, if you aren't the bravest of sorts, if you doubt your
courage or your strength, don't come any further," Sam warned, with an
expression so grim it nearly set them quavering with fear, "or death
awaits you with nasty, big, pointy teeth."
“What?” Kate blinked in surprise. "Sam, you're quoting Monty
Python!"
"What's Monty Python?"
She sighed. "Never mind."
Sam shushed her and slowly peeked around the rocks. They peeked, too,
expecting to see some horrible monster with slimy, suckered tentacles, or some
ferocious beast with razor-edged teeth and claws. But when they looked, there
was no fell beast that greeted their fearful gazes.
They shouldn’t have been surprised, really. They shouldn’t have been
surprised that instead…
"It's a rabbit!” Kate whispered. “It's a little pink, bunny
rabbit!"
"Well, that there's no ordinary coney."
Four sets of eyes stared at him.
"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set
eyes on, and no mistake!"
"You idiot! I nearly wet my tightsss I wasss sso ssscared!"
Kira hissed at him.
"You have tights?" Kate asked, going off on yet another one
of her irrelevant tangents.
"Well, thesse aren't normal pantss, in cassse you haven't
noticed."
"Hey, you're right. They aren't."
“You don’t think they make my butt look big, do they?” Kira asked.
“Nah.”
Sam rolled his eyes at their digression, and focused on the dilemma at
hand. "Look, that rabbit's got a wicked streak a mile wide; it's a
killer!" he hissed.
The girls rolled their eyes.
"He'll tear you apart!"
"Right," Kate said quietly.
Kira just rolled her eyes again.
"I'm warning you!"
"What's he do, nibble your bum?" Kate asked sardonically.
"He's got huge, sharp—eh—he can leap about—look, he's dangerous,
all right?" The hobbit made frantic hand gestures to go along with the
sentence.
"Sam, my dear friend, perhaps the lack of food and water has
affected your mind somewhat," Gimli said gently.
"Or mind-altering drugs have…" Kate muttered to Kira.
"Ssmoked too much of the pipeweed,’" Kira added
sagely. "Killss brain cellsss,
it doesss."
Sam scowled. They were making
fun of him! That—that Thing had
nearly killed him several times, and they were making fun of him! He was
patronized enough by the other stupid wench, and tortured by watching his
master suffer. Not to mention having to travel with his master through Mordor
over and over and over, going weeks without food and days without water…
Sam’s face squinched up in anger, and his
voice dropped low. He ignored the girls, as they were really starting to annoy
him, Gimli’s and Éowyn’s friends or no, and spoke to the Dwarf instead.
"Gimli, in my lifetime I've fought Gollum, a fair handful of orcs,
a bunch of thieving ruffians, and a giant
spider, and none of them hold a
candle to that little…creature. I'd
rather face a thousand Shelobs than fight that little
bunny again"
Kate raised an eyebrow. She was starting to get a little worried now.
If an in-character Sam was afraid of the rabbit, then maybe it just might
really be dangerous…
"It's jusst a bunny," Kira
whispered. "Let'ss kill it and eat it. Some fressh meat would be nice right now."
She started to stand up.
Kate gasped. "Kill it?" she whimpered. "But…But…it's a
bunny! It's cute and fluffy and…oh, never mind…" she trailed off as her
stomach rumbled. She’d let Kira kill the
bunny. She couldn’t kill it herself, of course—it was a cute, little bunny! But
she wouldn’t mind eating it if someone else did. Well, she would mind, but food
was food. Even though she’d only been eating lembas and some dried foods for
just a day, she had the feeling that she’d get tired of them eventually. Best
to eat something fresh now while she still could… She stood up to join Kira.
“Are you mad?” Sam hissed.
“Perhaps we should heed Sam,” Éowyn said.
The girls ignored both of them walked out into the little clearing.
They really should have known better. They both had watched Monty
Python. Precedence in the matter of innocent-looking bunnies was going against
them. In their defense, it could be said that they were tired, scared, and
already hungry again, but they still really
should have known better…
The bunny's little nose stopped quivering. It's beady little eyes,
brimming with unbridled, rodent malice locked on the two girls.
Then it did something little bunnies shouldn’t be able to do.
It screamed.
They screamed.
It charged.
They screamed even louder.
Acting partly with skill, partly with Mary Sue abilities, and mostly with
terror-induced survival instincts, Kira strung an arrow to her bow, pulled
back, and released, all in one swift motion.
The arrow hit the bunny. To their collective relief, the rageful rodent stopped.
"Phew," Kira panted.
But the beady eyes locked on them again.
“Sshit!”
It started hopping towards them again, in a playful, yet bloodthirsty
manner, heedless of the arrow lodged into it's side. Once again it screamed
like a banshee.
They screamed again.
Kira shot another arrow.
The bunny stopped.
“That is one tough rabbit!" Kate exclaimed.
They waited a moment, weapons drawn, tense and erect, and didn't dare
move.
It seemed dead this time.
"Phew," Kira said again.
Despite the fact that it had two arrows stuck in it, it stood up yet again, and with one little bunny lunge,
went flying towards her throat.
She screamed.
The bunny screamed.
Kate screamed.
The others shook themselves out of their shock, and ran towards them,
weapons drawn, but there was no way they could reach Kira in time…
With a loud Swish! Kate
flailed her sword through the air, towards the bunny, nearly taking Kira's head
off in the process.
There was a nasty squelching noise and the bunny fell to the ground…in
two pieces.
Kate stood there, her sword dripping blood, staring at her handiwork
with her mouth hanging open.
"I killed something…oh my God, I killed something…" she
muttered.
Kira stood next to her, completely frozen, panting.
"I told you it was one
mean bunny rabbit," Sam muttered.
Kate uttered a whimper and edged away from the carcass of the bunny.
"Kate, it was just a rabbit," Gimli said.
"But did you believe me? Of course
not…" Sam continued.
"But I've never killed anything before…" Kate whispered,
letting her arms drop. "Not even
for food…well, except for a mosquito or a roach…but I didn't eat them,"
she clarified.
Kira was still standing there, frozen. Éowyn came over and stood by her
side, putting a hand on her arm.
"I jussst nearly got killed by a bunny
rabbit. A little, pink bunny rabbit," Kira said, sounding slightly
hysterical. Her left eye tic started up again.
"You try fighting something like that when you've gone days and
days without food and water…" Sam still continued to ramble almost as if
he was defending himself for not trying harder to get to his master.
"It wasss pink. Pink!" Kira exclaimed. "It wasss
friggin' cotton-candy pink!"
"Yuck. I hate cotton
candy," Kate muttered, going off into random tangent again. She was chock
full of those.
"You think my clothes got this messed up from struggling though
Mordor? That little rabbit was the one that tore my clothes to shreds…"
"Pink…" Kira said,
still somewhat hysterical. "With adorably floppy earsss.
And it was pink…"
"It was attacking
us…" Kate said, as if defending herself. Kate bit her lip. "I
guess…well, it had to be done…" She stared at her bloody sword.
"Freakin' pink!"
"Yes, we know," Éowyn said, patting Kira's arm, and trying (ineffectually) to comfort her. “You'll have to get used to it, I'm afraid," she added to Kate. "It isn't pleasant to kill, but in this world, at this time, you've got to strike first…or die."
“Kira would be lacking a neck right now if you hadn’t,” Gimli added. “Éowyn,
Sam, and I weren’t close enough to you both. It would have killed her before we
reached you.”
“Which is your own fault, I might add,” Éowyn said sternly. “That will
teach you to go charging into battle to face an unknown enemy because you ignored the warnings of your comrades.”
“Yes, ma'am. What now?” Kate asked, but Sam answered her question for
her.
“I should have tried harder. As weak as I was, I should have tried
fighting it again. Instead I left Mr. Frodo in there with her…Master!” Sam was already running wildly forwards into the grove
of trees. "Master! Your Sam’s coming!”
"Pink…" Kira gurgled dumbly.
Kate gasped. "That's
right! Frodo is in trouble!" she
cried, negligently dropped her sword, and charged after Sam.
"It was pink…"
"We know!" Éowyn
and Gimli cried, and ran after Kate and Sam.
Kira stood there, staring at the carcass of the rabbit, the others in
such a rush to get to Frodo they hadn’t notice she had lagged behind.
Fictional worlds weren’t supposed
to be real. Assassins from a fanfic weren’t supposed
to chase you around and try to kill you. People weren't supposed to get sucked into stories. And bunnies weren't supposed to try to tear your throat out…
The Bridge was behind this. And the Bridge must be some evil thing
indeed. So far she had thought the Bridge was just some sort of object, but
now…
An object couldn’t do such horrible things. An object couldn’t be evil.
She kept staring at the bunny's carcass (which just so happened to be
pink.)
Something evil had made that thing. Something evil was ruining this
world. It couldn’t be an object, and even if it was, someone evil was controlling that object. It couldn’t be Sauron, she realized. If
Sauron had control of the Bridge, why didn’t he just suck in an AU fanfic where
he won the War? There were plenty of
them out there. She didn’t know whether the Bridge was some sort of evil being,
or whether it was an object being controlled by some sort of evil being…but it
was there. Somewhere in this world, it was waiting. And they were actually
looking for it.
It might be here, Kira thought. Right nearby. Up in that mountain and
even Sauron can’t see it. Wherever it was, it had created the horrible thing
that lay at her feet. It had created quite a few horrible things in a world
that already had too many.
"I hatess you," she hissed to the
cadaver of the rabbit. "I hatess you, and I hatess what’ss happened to thiss world, and I hatess being ssomething I'm not. Whatever made you, whatever brought me here, iss gonna get it. They’ss gonna get it good. So if there'ss
any chance that your little bunny ghosst iss lisstening to me right now,
make sure it goess and tellss
the thing that brought uss here that we're looking
for it. And when we find it, it'ss gonna have to ansswer to me, preciouss."
Just to be safe, she prodded it with her sword a few times. She was
still afraid to turn her back on it (which was starting to make her think that
staying behind hadn’t been such a great idea.)
She gave it one more prod for good measure, wiped her sword with a
cloth she fished from her pack, grabbed Kate’s neglected sword and cleaned it,
threw the rag onto the ground, turned towards the grove…
There was an ear-splitting scream.