Cam's Quiet Little Corner

Frequently and not so frequently asked questions about me -- The FANSFAQ

Are you Miss Cam?

Well, yes and no. I'm Camilla Sandman. Miss Cam is a part of me, my Inner Bitch, my Inner Evil Overlady. I invented her for OFUM and generally like being her. She is sarcastic, mean, generally feared (and sometimes lusted over, to my amazement) and gets to dress up in Black Leather with Lord Elrond on occasion -- who wouldn't love being her?

Shouldn't you get a life?

What's your definition of a life?

You have time to write so much fanfic?

Nope. What you see here is the product of many years of writing. I'm generally a lazy writer, believe me.

Are you Aussie?

No. I'm Norwegian. I live in Australia while I finish a degree, which is why you'll pick up some Aussie-isms here and there.

Do kangaroos roam the street where you live?

No. They drive minis.

What is Water Rats?

Aussie TV show. Lasted some six seasons. It aired in Norway, where I fell in love with it and begun writing fanfic for it.

You spelt "enrolment" wrong! Why haven't you corrected it?

Because it's not wrong. I use Australian spelling as much as I can, and it's "enrolment". It's also "realise", "harbour" and so on. Mmmkay?

Why are you so mean to George Bush?

I don't like him. I will never like him. I feel rage when I see him on TV. He's mean to what I believe in. I'm sure the feeling would be mutual if he knew me.

But how can you judge him when you're not American? Isn't that awfully political of you?

Well, mydad is an ex-minister. I was raised in a family of political active people. Of course I'm political.

Do you read Terry Pratchett?

Yes. I worship his writing.

Are you going to write more about Star Trek: Voyager?

No. Obsession is long dead, I fear. What I have here I wrote years ago (and it shows).

Are you going to write more about Water Rats?

No. "Faded Scars" was my last story in that fandom (and my best, I reckon).

How come you're not writing for fandom Y anymore?

I am fickle and easily distracted by new shinies.

Will you write a sequel to story X?

Chances are I won't, especially if it's an old story.

You know, your English . . .

Yes, yes. It's my second language, it needs work. Meanwhile, you try tackling nouns and gender in Norwegian.

Can I be your beta-reader?

Possibly. If you burn for it, e-mail me and ask how I'm doing in that department. Note: Must have skill in British English.

Can you review my story?

I'm not a nice reviewer. Nor do I have much spare time. You're better off asking someone else. If you really, really desire a review, e-mail me. I guarantee nothing, though.

You never replied to my e-mail! How come?

Hotmail probably ate it, like the good Spawn of Evil it is. Or you wrote an inane e-mail. Take a pick.

Can I chat to you on AIM?

Sure. You can reach me on AIM (El Camita), MSN (Cammy_Sandy @ hotmail.com) or Yahoo (dunjasja), but please, please, for the love of Eru skip the netspeak first. "Ur" can drive me to murder. If you plan on having a conversation with me, use proper English. And learn the difference between "you're" and "your".

Do you run the PPC?

No.

Did you really beta "My Inner Life"?

Yes.

Smeg head!

Dishwasher breath.

The OFUM-related FANSFAQ

(Let's face it. That is why most of you are here)

What gave you the idea for OFUM?

Too much bad fanfic.

Will there be a year three of OFUM?

I haven't even finished year two! Geez!

How could you write a Lina/Gimli romance? Ew!

Because I cherish every "Ew!"

I'll stop reading OFUM because of it!

Tata.

What does Urple look like?

As a mix between all the worst colours you can imagine.

What is the Ultimate Evil?

Isn't it more fun to ponder on your own?

Who's the Headmaster? It's Tolkien, isn't it?

Well, gee, what gave you that idea? The part where I *spelt it out in clouds*?

Are you anti-slash?

No. I have written one slash story, and read several. I'm anti-badfic, whether it be slash or het. However, for slash to be plausible in Tolkien's Middle-earth, it'll need a lot of work.

What's with all the Monty Python references?

Learn to worship the Python.

I want more of Legolas/Haldir/Aragorn/Frodo/Pippin/Morgoth/Gollum/Other Lust Object!

There is more to Middle-earth than lusting, you know.

Why are you so evil?

Because the badfic is so bad.

No, it isn't!

Yes, it is.

You're so mean!

Yes. But the badfic still sucks and blows. OFUM is my venting place, my little rant against the gazillionth other daughter of Elrond proclaiming Aragorn evil and marrying Legolas.

Can I do a spin-off?

Perhaps. Head to the OFUM page to see how.

Can I adopt a mini-Balrog?

Sure. Go look at the OFUM page.

Can I report a mini-Balrog?

Of course. But please remember it must be in published work or associated with such (message board entries do not count) and I like to gaze upon them myself.

Can I become OFUM staff?

Staff positions are not easily achieved, but if you really are determined, you can e-mail me for more info. Your chances will increase dramatically if your e-mail is not naggy and has been proofread.

Who's your Lust Object?

Wouldn't you like to know... Contrary to popular belief, it is actually not Lord Elrond. Trust me. (And anyway, I'm fickle. Very fickle)

I've collected some quotes I think are wise/profound/silly. You can view them here.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
-- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams